Well hello there little blog! I have been a terrible blogger and have treated you badly.....but I'm back again - inspired to blog at least once a week - let's see how I go!
Forgive me, as I have had a few very "trying" months getting used to a 'new me'. You see, a week before Christmas I had surgery, which in essence has probably changed me as a woman more than I ever believed it could have. And I guess I am only beginning to realise what a huge change it will be...
Having a hysterectomy has made me really come to terms with the fact that I no longer will be procreating and bringing any more beautiful little souls in to this world. And although I am grateful for the four amazing children I have, I don't know whether I would have really ever been ready to say 'no more'. But alas, this little body of mine made the decision for me, so I have just gone with the flow (pardon the pun) and allowed myself to accept the changes and hopefully move on.
I had a lovely catch up with a beautiful friend of mine the other day, and told her of a (now) funny little post-op story: About two weeks post-op I was watching a television show on MTV about teen mums. I emerged from the back loungeroom in tears and stated to my husband "I told you I wasn't allowed to watch anything about new born babies for at least a few month" and continued to the bathroom where I thought it best to get out cleaning products and spray my shower whilst balling my eyes out! And in true fashion, Andrew came in and wrapped his arms around me (I'm sure trying not to laugh at the sight of me hunched over holding my wound, spraying shower cleaner and crying) and told me everything would be alright. I knew I was going to be ok not having babies anymore, but the realisation that I no longer had an option or the equipment to do so was pretty raw.
So after three months of recovery and getting thrown back in to another year of new routines, and precious time with my children, I am doing ok and getting used to this new me.
My quote for today is "When somebody shows you who they are - believe them the first time". I was just watching an episode of Oprah and heard this quote once again, but today it really hit home. I have struggled for the past nine and a bit years with an ex-husband and his ever changing personalities. Hearing this quote again today has made things a little clearer.....
Have a lovely day!
