Gratitude

Thirty-one years ago, I changed schools.  I was only one term in to grade one at Merrimac Primary School when we up and moved to a more country-ish town called Coomera.  Back in 1981, Coomera didn't have much.  There was a milk bar at the caravan park on the corner of the highway, a police station and a small grocery store (well there was probably more, but as a six year old those were the most important!).  My parents built a huge 52 square home on seven and a half acres.  We had dams, stables with horses, chickens galore and an aviary with all varieties of feathered friends.  There was a slow moving little creek that ran through the property and up until our pool was built I have memories of jumping in the creek or being dragged around the dam.  I won't go in to the time that dragging ended up with me being taken to hospital for my first set of stitches - let's just say that dams also have rocks and reeds growing under the water!

The local primary school was quite some kilometres away.  Over the other side of the highway, where not long after we moved, Dreamworld opened right across the road from said school.  My Mum would get a job there in the early 80's, along with lots of my friend's Mums, and some afternoons after school, we would wander across and dump our bags, and go through the back gate to spend a couple of hours on rides and water slides.  Yeh.....life was pretty tough.

Kids would come from miles away to this school.  Literally.  We would be picked up by the bus, mostly outside our own house - because neighbours were so far apart!  And we would all congregate at this same school.  It was here that I met the majority of my closest friends - even now, after all these years.

I wasn't what I would call a popular kid.  But I also wasn't not popular.  If you get what I mean?  My entire school life was spent bouncing from one friend to the next, one group to another.  And without sounding up myself, I think I was a pretty well liked kid.  I don't recall being teased (well, until high school when some smart ass boy asked me if I'd been sunbaking under a flyscreen?) or pushed around, I just went to school, learnt and had fun.

The reason I'm sharing all of this with you today?  Well, last Tuesday I decided I needed to send my Dad a hamper for Christmas.  You see, his Doctors have given him the "thumbs down" to travel to Melbourne for the festive season.  His health has been shocking since his little heart episode.  In fact, I'd been holding my breath until Thursday just gone, when what I think was a bone marrow biopsy (I say think because my dear old 69 year old Dad cannot for the life of him give me the proper names for all the tests he's been going through!) came back with nothing!  Hoorah!  I'd spent ten days freaking out because his doctors thought he may have bone cancer.  Now, it's just waiting on further results for his heart, kidneys etc etc.

Anyway, back to the hamper.......  I went online and was quite frustrated by the options laid out before me.  $70 for a crappy little hamper with crackers, red wine and other bullshit added in.  No good for my Dad who doesn't drink red wine, is not a fan of crackers and doesn't stand for bullshit.  So I headed over to the old faithful Facebook and popped up a status to all my Gold Coast friends, wondering who lived close to my Dad?  A couple of girls I went through school with popped up and a certain lovely lady only lived ten minutes away and was more than happy to put a hamper together for me AND drop it off to my Dad!  I was thrilled!

I messaged her a list of possible items - XXXX beer, Violet Crumble, fruit mince pies and a little pudding.  And lots of fresh fruit.  This wonderful human being went above and beyond for me, and blew me away with the end result.  She delivered it to my Dad yesterday.  Now, she had not seen my Dad for probably 25+ years, so to go to a near stranger's home and deliver a gift with personal touches is a big ask!  But she did it.  And she gave my Dad a hug and a kiss from me too.  AND sms'd a photo for me too!  Dad was surprised.  She said he was speechless.  Well, until he figured he had some company and wanted to have a chat.....

Dad with his loot!

I'm sharing this because I want to remind everyone that the Christmas spirit is in fact well and truly alive and kicking.  When I posted the photo on FB yesterday afternoon and did a public thank you to my friend, everyone I grew up with was chuffed.  Another of my life long friends messaged me and I sat in tears with gratitude for the friendships that were formed such a long time ago.  I don't know what was in the water in those little towns in the 1980's, but whatever it was - it helped form a great bunch of children, who have grown in to a wonderful group of adults who are just plain AWESOME!

And just keep this in mind, next time you're travelling down that huge and busy Pacific Motorway on the Gold Coast - Just when you're passing the McDonald's and big stores that line those towns, think of the hundreds of country kids who kicked around in the dirt and had no idea what a Maccas was.  Imagine us crossing the two lane highway to get to our school bus.  And try to picture a much simpler time.  Because that was my childhood.  Well, part of it anyway.....

Back to the Future?

As I sit here freezing my proverbial arse off, I am reflecting on one of the most amazing weekends I have had.  One reflection is that all of my Queensland friends really do not have ANY idea of the real definition of "cold".

The more important reflections are those of friendships, old and new.  I hate to bang on (ok, I don't really) about how integral friendships have been in my life, but shit, they have!  Proof was in the pudding 25 year primary school reunion I attended Saturday night.

I am well aware that school reunions are not everyone's cup of tea, well proven by the fact that not all 79 students I finished Grade seven with turned up.  Ok, there were a few exceptions, but these are the stats as they stand:   79 students.......71 of them found (turns out one of said classmates could have a successful career as a P.I.).......60 invitations sent out (no thanks to Australia Post who it seems didn't quite stand up to their end of the bargain with a few)........35+ RSVP's.  Being the mathematical genius I am, I'm thinking they are pretty good odds?

Majority of people I have spoken to about reunions are rather shocked by the fact that it was a primary school gathering.  High school reunions are FAR more popular and all the rage - especially when you get to my age and 20 years have passed!  But this weekend was a special one.  As was our class of '87.

Amongst the attendees were two of our three grade seven teachers, and our awe-inspiring school principal.  Very exciting stuff.  And very amusing to be buying said teachers a beer at the bar!

I spent the evening wondering wandering.  Many "oh my gods" were propelled across the room, as people's name tags revealed their identities.  Some you could pick before you read, but others required a little eye-squinting and standing back.  But basically, every single person still looked like the little person I recall.  Mind boggling.

One of the highlights of my evening was my school principal's recollection of my Mother as "a wild woman"......this was greeted by a WTF from me.  Mum - we will be talking.

I was confused to hear that I was remembered as "the bossy one" and "the leader of the pack".  I'm quite certain they have me mixed up with someone else?  Surely.....

The reminiscing continued well in to the night, lots of laughs and stories to tell.  And then a bunch of us got our groove on, well in to the morning.

And the OTHER 60-ish hours of this long weekend?  Let's just say I have a sore jaw......from talking.  Hours spent talking to women I was lucky enough to meet over 30 years ago.  Shacked up in an apartment with the essentials - tea, coffee and cupcakes.  I am BLESSED.

Some of the bestest friends a girl can ask for!

I have more to divulge about this weekend....but you will have to wait!

Have you been to a school reunion?  Were you surprised to find out you weren't really who you thought you were!??!

I Get Around

With all the talk, and action, being done about moving house, it has had me reflecting on how many bloody times I have actually moved.  I worked out last week that this house we are in now, is the house I have lived at the longest.  In my whole life.  Eight years.  It's a record for me.  So here's how the role-call of my habitats goes....

1.  Have no idea what the suburb was that I was brought home from hospital to.  But I know it was on the Gold Coast.

2.  Carrara - lived in a big house on the canal, right opposite the Flea Market.  This house will always be remembered as the place my sister was run over by my Dad.  Yep, unfortunately it runs in the family....  Lived here for around five years I think.  Started grade one, then moved a few months later.

3.  Coomera - Seven and a half acres of beautiful land with a ginormous house.  We had a bit of a hobby farm, and it wasn't until I was in my teens that I looked back at regret for all the horses we owned and I never really rode.  Geese remembered for their angry attack on my little brother's knackers.  The giant mulberry tree that grew in the chicken "pen"....it wasn't really a pen, more like a farm in itself.  The creek that ran through the property where we would have muddy swims and the big dam where I gained my first set of stitches.  Great memories.  We were here for about four years.  

4.  Oxenford - Smaller house, smaller property.  Probably the best years of my childhood.  Lived opposite two of the best friends a girl could ever (and still) have.  Back in the 80's, this little suburb was quaint.  Everyone knew everyone.  You could ride your bike around all day and return home at dusk without a worry in the world.  All you needed were a pair of swimmers and thongs, and you were set for a whole day's fun.  The only downside to this time was my parent's marriage falling apart.  We were here for about three years.

5.  Oxenford - The rental.  Family friend helps us out by renting us his house.  Because Dad has lost all control of his problem, and we now have no money!  This house saw a marriage break-up, a new man in my Mum's life and my sister move out...  Strange times.  Another few years here.

6.  Oxenford (again) - The Caravan Park.  Urghhh...... Take this as a warning.  Gambling = disaster.  For many years now I have looked back on the fact that we lived in a caravan park as pretty embarrassing.  Part of my marriage vows (well not really) were that we would NEVER stay in a caravan, let alone live in one.  But, in my older age, I can now understand that my Mum and Step Dad just did what they had to do in order for us to get by.  We lived in said caravan park for a few years.  I was in high school.  It was not ideal, but hey, it was ok.  And I certainly learnt quite a few life lessons whilst there!  The irony in this is that my Dad now lives in a caravan park....go figure.

7. Melbourne bound!  Stayed at my Aunty's house in Woori-yallock.  At 15, and straight from the beaches of Queensland, I thought this was surely the coldest place on earth!  It's not.  A month spent here discovering the beauty of Victoria and the "fashion" that was bomber jackets and desert boots.  I have still not recovered from these finds....

8.  Bayswater - Says it all really.  Good old Baysie.  The four years I lived there were super fabulous!  The walk to high school was always an adventure.  There was a flasher who loitered about the creek at the back of the school.  Never got to see him, shame.

9.  Ferntree Gully - My parents had decided they would move to Hong Kong.  So a house was bought, and my boyfriend at the time and I, along with my little brother, moved in.  Tumultuous times followed, with a brother who got involved in all sorts of trouble, and a boyfriend that would then become my husband.  This house saw my 21st and hens night amongst other celebrations.  I think all will still remember the big black man and his shlong.....  Lasted here a couple of years.

Stay with me here!!!

10. Boronia (aka Bosnia) - Bought my first house with the ex-husband.  Can you believe it only cost us $75k!!!!!!  Delightful little weatherboard that saw WAY too much.  The great memories are those of my beautiful first born being brought home and the fabulous parties we held there.  I lived there about 3 years, until I left my marriage.  Ex-husband still lives there....

11.  Moved in with Mum and Step Dad, with son.  Three months.

12.  Ringwood - found a cute little unit.  Just me and my boy.  Just six months.

13.  Ferntree Gully - Work friend offered her house for rent.  Lived with another friend, until she disappointed me and was sent packing.  Met Andrew whilst living here. We were married in the back yard and brought Chelsea home from hospital there.  Another few years passed...

14.  NOW.  Phew.  Eight years.  This suburb has been one of the most memorable.  Another two babies born and brought home.  I have met some amazing people, everyone knows everyone.  Mostly that is a good thing, but at times it has caused me a lot of grief.  A part of me is sad to be leaving......but there's another part of me that will be happily waving goodbye.  

So to all of you who declare "I hate moving!" - how many times have you actually moved?  Do I belong on a reality show?  Or perhaps in therapy?

An update on "Gay Panic" loophole!

Back on the 18th of this month I wrote THIS post.  Well, looky what I just had arrive in my inbox from Change.org where I found the original petition:

“We’re changing the Criminal Code to remove doubts about the so-called “gay panic” defence” -- QLD Premier Anna Bligh via Twitter on Wednesday.

Huge news! The Queensland Government has committed to closing the “gay panic” defence to murder. Father Paul Kelly saw the defence used first hand after a man was murdered in his Church's courtyard -- so he started a Change.org petition to change the law. After more than 25,000 people signed and huge media coverage across Australia, new legislation will close this archaic loophole.

Melissa, huge news!

The Queensland government has committed to closing the “gay panic” loophole used to defend murder. The changes will hopefully all but relegate the “gay panic” defence to the history books by making the defence invalid unless there are "exceptional circumstances".

It’s an extraordinary victory -- for Father Kelly, and all those who have been part of the explosion of support to eliminate the ”gay panic” defence in Queensland. 

Father Kelly was shocked after seeing the defence used to defend a brutal killing in his Church’s courtyard. He couldn’t accept that such an archaic and openly discriminatory loophole still existed in Queensland -- so he started a Change.org petition to have it wiped from the law books.

More than 25,000 people signed Father Kelly’s Change.org petition -- with support coming from his local Member of Parliament and British comedian Stephen Fry. It sparked a media and social media furore that the government couldn’t ignore. The Attorney-General personally responded in an opinion piece on The Punch last week after front page coverage in the Courier Mail. On Tuesday the campaign was featured on The Project andABC Radio National -- and the government changed its stance the next morning. 

For decades, governments have turned a blind eye to the “gay panic” loophole. Just last year, the Attorney-General changed laws surrounding the “gay panic” loophole, again failing to address it properly. 

The victory is an extraordinary example of people power -- and a testament to the power of anyone, anywhere to start, join and win campaigns about issues they care about.

Thank you -- Father Kelly believes that the “gay panic” defence is dead in this country, and it's sent a message that it’s unacceptable to leave loopholes in legislation that defends violence against the gay and lesbian community in any shape or form. He'll continue this campaign until he's sure the defence can't ever be used again, and hopes you'll join him. If you’re aware of something that’s discriminatory, unfair or just plain wrong, remember that you can always start a campaign on Change.org - click here to start a petition.

Nathan, Bobbi, Suzanne, Tony, Nick and the Change.org team.

For all of you who read my original post and signed the petition - well done!  And to Anna Bligh - great decision.

Did you know?

"That alleged homosexual advance - or “gay panic” - can be and has been used as a partial defence 

to murder in Queensland".

Yes, you read correctly.  I was pointed to a petition last week on Facebook by a friend of mine.  Mostly when people send me in these directions I don't really take much notice.  Not because I don't care about the issues of the world, sometimes it just seems like EVERYONE has an issue!  But this time, it took my interest.  You can read the full petition here.

So, back to the cause. A loophole in Queensland law literally allows people to use the above defence!  I find it absolutely absurd, and was more than happy to sign said petition.  I signed it, and then forgot about it.  Until today.  I received a follow-up email this afternoon.  And was astounded.  Please read:

       "Amazing. Father Kelly’s campaign to close the “gay panic” loophole in Queensland has surged to over 20,000 signatures in a matter of days, and ignited a furore all over mainstream and social media. The petition trended on twitter, was featured in the Daily Telegraph in Sydney, and even made front page of the Courier Mail in Brisbane.

The Government says they’re waiting for a recommendation from a law review committee before deciding whether to close the loophole -- but insiders say the committee is unlikely to recommend a single change. 

Thanks to Father Kelly’s campaign there's huge momentum for change, and continued pressure may just force action regardless of the committee. He needs every signature to persuade both Labor and the LNP to legislate to close this "gay panic" loophole. 

Help Father Kelly reach 30,000 signatures -- share the petition now on Facebook, Twitter or via email and by spreading this link to the petition -- http://chn.ge/zwWWzT -- far and wide.

The government is trying to deflect attention, claiming that it’s closed the loophole that allows non-violent homosexual advance to be used as partial defence for murder. But the truth is that along with NSW, Queensland is the only state where the “gay panic” defence is still allowed in court.

As the intense media coverage continues, opposition leader Campbell Newman has the perfect opportunity to take a bold stand. He’s hesitating, but a surge of public support could convince him that he can win crucial public favour in the lead up to the election in March. What’s more, his public commitment might just convince the government it needs to stop “tinkering on the edges of reform” and commit to meaningful changes as well."

What on earth are our politicians scared of?  And why, oh why, is Queensland - and NSW it seems -  still living under this ridiculous law?  Please feel free to sign and share if you would like to!

Nobody is Safe Anymore!

It seems you can pretty much find anyone you're looking for......if you use technology!

Around six months ago, a bunch of my lovely life-long friends, whom I met in our first year of primary school, decided we should plan a 25 year reunion.  Twenty.......five......years.........  When you say it out loud, it seems impossible that it was that long ago we were all chasing each other around the playground, having play dates, and preparing ourselves for the big step to high school.  But alas, we are all turning 37 next year, so it must be true!

Given this task anytime prior to say 2000, and I don't know how you would tackle it?  How DID they put together school reunions before the computer age?  Before the internet?  Before Facebook?  Did they send a telegram? Hehehehe......

So far, one of my lovely friends has turned all P.I. and has found the majority of "lost souls" - aka those who are not on Facebook - by trawling through phone books, googling and generally leaving no stone un-turned in the pursuit of the elusive classmate.  It has paid off!  At last count, there were only five of our fellow Graduating Class of 1987 left to find!  Until today....

Image from coompax.com

Earlier this year, I did my own little Google search for one particular classmate.  She was a beautiful girl, and we were quite close friends through our formative years.  Sometime around Grade 5, she and her family set off on an adventure, sailing around the coast of Queensland.  We were pen pals over those few years, and it was always very exciting to receive an envelope in the mail from some far-off place I'd never heard of!  And although she returned to the Gold Coast (yep, I was one of the lucky ones who had the pleasure of growing up in sunshine) to resume her schooling, we sort of went our separate ways and formed our own friendship circles.  But I've never forgotten her.

So back to the google search.  I typed in her name, and not much came up.  The only thing I could even remotely connect her to, was a connection between her name and a Boating website.  So I took a punt, given the boating connection of sorts, and sent off an email to the address given on this site.  I explained we were searching for the woman named on their site, and if it was the same person I was hoping it was, if they could pass on the message.  Now I didn't hold much hope at all - the last activity on this website was years old, so any thoughts that I would ever receive a reply were minimal.

Fast forward to this morning...........whilst cruising one of my Facebook groups, a sewing library of all things, one of the ladies in there noted that a message I had not received from her could be in my "others" folder........Others folder??  What the?  One little click on message, and wa-la!  An Others folder!  And in this mysterious folder were 42 messages from all sorts of Facebook groups dating back months!  Whoops!  As I scrolled down, deleting as I went, I saw a message from a fellow I had never heard of - dated 23 June.  And as I clicked on it, this is what I read:


Hi Melissa

You didn't leave your email on the Boating contact so I Googled you which led me here. 

Yes, it's the same "Jane Doe"  you went to school with. You can contact her at janedoe@gmail.com

Cheers
Bob


OMG!!!!!!  I was flabbergasted!  That this person had then gone to the trouble of googling me to reply!  It has seriously made my day.  But it has also led me to believe that really, nobody IS safe anymore!

The other good thing that has come out of today's discovery?  My gf - the P.I. - won't have to delve into any illegal people searching, as she was contemplating!