It's been a while...

Sorry I've been away for a while! You see, our lives here in suburbia have become unusually out of routine due to my lovely husband landing a wonderful new job! The only downside of this new job - so far - is that out of the last eleven days, eight of them have been spent interstate. So the kids and I are adjusting to a 'new normal'.

I'll give you my quote of the day a little earlier than usual - ''Absence makes the heart grow fonder''. Never before have I understood this statement quite like I do now!

I have told my husband many times over the past eight years that I didn't think it was possible to be in love with someone so much, and to be more in love as each year goes on. But I am, and I do. I thank my lucky stars each and every day that I have Andrew in my life, and that we have such a wonderful little life together. This past eleven days have been difficult, but have made me appreciate him even more (yet another thing I didn't think possible).

So for those of you who sometimes may take your other half a little for granted, send them away for a few days, and see how much more you appreciate having them around!

That's it for tonight, I am absolutely knackered!

Have a great night!

Why do I feel the need to say thank you??

Yesterday, whilst at work, the same old question arose - why do i feel the need to say thank you? To my husband that is! He started his facebook day off with the status update ''I have already clothed and fed two children, emptied the dishwasher and made dinner''......this was at approximately 10.30am. I read it rather bemused. I had been up with Chloe since 7am, had managed to clothe and feed her AND myself, and gotten ready for work and out the door by 8.25am! My reply?? ''Get a grip!'' The updates went on for a little while, amusing our mutual friends no doubt, and more importantly - amusing me!
So when I arrive home at 5pm, with dinner cooked, and husband busily folding clothes in the backroom, I have to stop myself from saying thank you. Why? Well, because I always used to say thank you, but over the last few months or so, have ceased this due to the fact that I don't get a ''thank you'' at the end of every week day. He returns home from work to a cooked meal, bathed and fed children, and a pretty much organised household! Although I know he appreciates it, there's no thank you. Just the same as he goes to work five days a week and earns a decent pay packet to make life easier - but I don't thank him for that either!
I'm wondering how many other mothers/wives out there feel almost obliged to say thank you to their husbands when they do things around the house un-prompted?

So my quote for the day - ''The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention''. ~Oscar Wilde. Just as I do everyday things that I know will make my husband happy, I'm hoping this was his intention too! Have a lovely day!

I don't cope....

So, I'm not perfect.....I know, you're shocked, as was I when I came to this very disturbing conclusion!

It has been a while coming, but this epiphany came to me this morning, whilst I was having a minor meltdown. My youngest little dot - Chloe - has been unwell probably half of her very short 14 months of life. And so the next cycle began yesterday, when it seems the antibiotics she finished two days prior had more than likely worn off, and the fever returned, as did the non-stop whinging and sadness. And to put it very bluntly - I'm not coping!

I know we all have things and circumstances we don't cope with - mine is sick children. I thank God every single day that I don't have a child so unwell they are in hospital, or god forbid, on their death bed. And this is how my random conversation number 5976 began today - in Coles of course!

The check out lady started off talking about how she is caring for her unwell and ageing parents, and it went on from there. But it also finished with the same sentiments as above. We should always think about how lucky we are, and that there is always going to be someone worse off than ourselves.

So I took my sicky little baby girl home for a sleep, and curled up on the lounge to watch The View. Enjoyed my one and a half hour's reprieve from crying and sadness, and then made sure I was smiling when my little cherub woke up - crying. Onwards and upwards I say.....specialist appointment made and more drugs purchased from my local pharmacy, who seems to be profiting very well from the sickness dwelling in this household!

Today's quote: ''You're only given what you can handle''.....from a friend many years ago, who professed this little beauty to me when I was struggling through the break up of my first marriage, and dealing with a man who still, to this day, gives me the absolute shits! I remember this little quote on a regular basis, and it always seems to get me through. Have a wonderful day! x

Playgroup

–noun
a group of small children, esp. preschoolers, organized for play or play activities and supervised by adult volunteers.

Hmmm....I think we've been doing it wrong? I thought I would look up the definition after another manic morning of playgroup - here at my house. For the past 11 years, I have taken part in various playgroups, and am happy to say, the mothers I have attended with have all had the same definition as myself:

-noun
a group of grown women, esp. mothers, organised for tea and coffee, whilst their children play unsupervised - as long as they are happy and quiet!

I wonder how many other play groups have the same definition? I mean, seriously, how many mothers join playgroup solely for their children to enjoy themselves? Some of the greatest friendships I have, have been made through playgroup. And they certainly didn't grow in to the beautiful relationships they are, bonding over glue and cellophane. It was the tea and coffee!

Yes, playgroup is great, because it's held at a centre where you don't have to worry about the mess, noise, and general mayhem. But it's also held so that like-minded mothers (parents) can sit back and ''relax'' whilst their children run wild. Love it!

Quote for the day - ''When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.'' ~Erma Bombeck. Found this little quote and found it quite appropriate! There is at least one day out of every week, where I would love to find that nice, safe playpen and just disappear for a little while! Have a great day!

Friends...love them

I have just returned home from a friend's five year old daughter's birthday party at MacDonalds! What a hoot! I don't know what it is about children's birthday parties that I most enjoy - the children having fun, or catching up with my friends? Gee, that was hard - I lurve catching up with my friends!

I have had a couple of my best friend's birthday in the last week, and have thoroughly enjoyed trawling through card shops trying to find the perfect birthday greeting for them. I stood in ''Wrappings'' last night with tears in my eyes, reading touching verses on beautifully decorated pieces of card. I could literally spend an hour looking for the perfect one, but as per usual, was dictated by time (or lack thereof) so did some speed reading and picked a card I kept gravitating back to! Last night's purchase was for the mum of today's birthday girl, so it was with much pleasure I handed it over, with a gorgeous little magnet featuring a photo of a cheeky little girl with the words ''Love ya!'' on it. It is a greeting I use in all forms - written and spoken word, on a regular basis.

I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful and diverse group of friends in my life. The birthday girl of the moment, is a beautiful soul I met when I first moved to Melbourne 19 years ago. We were in year 10, and she has been an important person in my life ever since. She has been there through every good and bad time, as well as some pretty hilarious ones!

Another very wise friend of mine, whom I met through first mother's group, said to me one day ''friendships evolve'', and I couldn't have ever imagined she would be so right! I do not have just one 'best friend', but many, who all have different and wonderful qualities which make them all uniquely special. Some friendships have mellowed with age (funnily enough, we haven't though) and others are just getting better and better. My Mother has always said to me that I am extremely lucky to have some long lasting and enduring friendships. I am still very close with a handful of girls I met in grade one, and hope to keep it that way til the end of my days.

Today has brought me much happiness, because I could sit back with three very beautiful friends, and watch as our children laughed (and cried) whilst still managing to get a good gossip and catch up in also! I think my Mum was right - I am very lucky.

Quote for today - ''A girlfriend is a sister you choose''.......so very true, I have so many sisters.

About getting older....

Good afternoon! After a burst of energy after my debut here on blogspot, I felt the need to sit back and wait until I had something really worthy of actually putting to words. So this is it!

At a ripe old 34 and a half years of age, I am now coming to the point in my life where I am (gasp) feeling old! I have been fighting these thoughts for quite some time, because logically, I know I'm not old. Old is when you don't work anymore, your kids have grown up and left home, you have a plethera of pills to accompany your breakfast each morning - just so you can function. Old is when you fart and don't realise, your body just doesn't function like it used to. I KNOW I'm not old - but gees, I feel it!

Part of the reason I try not to have these thoughts, or actually say them out loud, is because my gorgeous husband is a whole four and a half years younger than me. He is turning 30 in December, and I truly think this is why I'm thinking and feeling older more often! When I met him, he was a young 21 year old 'boy'- I was a 26 year old, divorced mother of a three year old! So the years have flown by, and amazingly, we have now been together for almost eight years.

I have been re-arranging photo frames, in the anticipation that I will actually sort them out and get them all hung on the huge wall in our back room. And as I go through old photographs, it occurs to me that I look different......I am actually starting to look like someone who has had a life, and has experienced life for all of its ups and downs. I look in the mirror every morning, and I really do wonder where that young girl went? At what stage did I start to get wrinkles? They just creep onto your face when you're not looking!

In saying all of this, I must also add that I think I'm looking pretty good - for a mother of four! I said exactly the same thing Saturday night. We were at my husband's cousin's 21st birthday party. I had seriously never seen so many short dresses in all of my life! But I was glammed up, and had my all important LBD on, and made the above statement. But then, just as quickly, followed it up with ''actually, I look pretty good full stop''!! Why did I always add the ''for a mother of four'' to the end of such statements? Why do we always label ourselves? Hmmm.....

Anyway, I'm certainly feeling all of my 34 years of age. I am trying even more so to stop feeling older!

My quote of the day - ''You're only as old as the man you're feeling''. Well, in that case, I have a few more months of being 29! Have a great day!

Nothing of great importance!

Good morning! It is a beautiful, crisp and sunny morning here in Melbourne, and I just remembered something I found on The Hip Infant that I found last week and thought I would share!

Chloe is the only one of my children to wear sleeping bags to bed, and I was wondering how I was going to manage this coming up to Summer - but I have found the solution! http://www.thehipinfant.com.au/proddetail.php?prod=AU8001 This Aden + Anaais muslin sleeping bag is perfection! So I will be making my purchase asap in anticipation of what I can only imagine is going to be a stinking hot Summer! Have a great day!

Sharing with strangers....

Approximately 48 hours ago, I ventured to K-mart to make a few purchases for work. Whilst there, I quickly popped up to the layby counter to pop some money on my xmas layby. The lady in front of me was patiently waiting for the adolescent boy behind the counter to sort out some sort of muck up on the phone. I noticed she was buying a DS, so whilst waiting started up some small talk, which in my world always seems to be easy to do - when you start talking about your kids!

After a couple of minutes, this lovely stranger tells me she is having a bad day - to which I genuinely understand and tell her I hope it gets better. She then goes on to say that she had just lost a child a few weeks earlier..............We are both leaning on the service counter, and when she imparts this very personal piece of information, tears well up in my eyes and I just want to hug her. I fear words are going to fail me, but I tell her that I completely understand and that I too had lost a child a couple of years ago. I go on to say that if it makes her feel any better, four months after my husband and I lost our baby, we fell pregnant and my little baby girl has just turned one. She replies ''my husband doesn't want to''. I feel even sadder for this woman I had just met, and can only manage an ''oh no'' in my reply. ''How far along were you?'' she asks, ''13 weeks'' I reply. And then comes the sucker punch of the conversation - ''I was five months pregnant, and had to give birth''...........................

I held in my tears and just told her that I really was so very sad for her, and hoped that she could find some support and that things would get better. But in my heart of hearts, I just didn't know or understand how you could recover from something like that? My miscarriage had left me feeling empty and sad for such a long time - even after conceiving Chloe - and there were times I didn't feel like I would ever get over it. And like this lovely stranger, I felt alone. I had a wonderfully supportive and emotional husband, but didn't feel like anyone I knew truly understood. Sometimes, I wonder what that little baby would look like? Was it a son or a daughter? But I so very lucky to have a beautiful daughter, who would more than likely not be here had that sadness never visited me. And I could never imagine being without her in our lives.

I parted ways with this stranger, feeling like I had known her longer than the five minutes we had spent at a layby counter. She has been in my thoughts for the past 48 hours, and I wonder how she is doing? Whether her day got any better, and if she remembers actually talking to me?

How many of us have had incidental conversations with strangers and thought nothing of it? Even more importantly, how many of us have these same conversations, but are touched by their words?

The few people who were there for me, and for Andrew, during what is most definately the hardest time of our lives - will always be remembered for the ''little'' things they said and did. One friend called and said ''I don't know what to say'' - but it was the fact that she cared to call anyway that meant the world to me!

So I guess today's quote is very appropriate - ''No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted'' - Aesop

And it is never forgotten. x

Out of the mouth of babes....part one

So I have titled this ''part one'' on purpose.......because I know for sure that there will be more parts to this subject!

Today marks a milestone in Chelsea's life......she is having her best friend sleep over for the very first time. At six years of age, I have had a few parents raise their eyebrows - surely because they think it is too young? But I simply couldn't resist! Some of the best memories of my childhood are from the copius amounts of sleepovers I had at friend's houses and vice versa.

I was lucky enough at the age of nine to move to a wonderful little Gold Coast town called Oxenford. Back then, in 1984, it was a town - now it is a fully fledged suburb! It was a newly developed estate, and my parents bought a block of land, and as what had become somewhat tradition - my plumber father built a house on the land and we called it home.

Our house was opposite a very small little culder-sac, where I soon figured out another girl I went to primary school with - Sarah - lived. And much to my delight, soon after this also discovered another school friend - Kate - lived three doors up the road! This triangle of homes became a well worn track very quickly.....and much to our parents' ''joy'', we made it a weekend ritual to work out whose house we would be sleeping at and how we would go about making sure someone's parents agreed.

This ritual continued for many years, even after my family moved further up into the estate (soon after my father discovered gambling - but that's a whole other story!) and the three of us had to ride our bicycles up the dreaded huge hill to get to my place.

It was actually in high school that my sleepover tactics began to really annoy my Mum. It is only now that I'm a Mother myself, I can truly understand and appreciate her level of annoyance, because I can almost guarantee that if my kids pulled the same stunt, I would probably have a cow! Another bestie, Jane (who is still to this day a bestie) and I caught the bus home from school every day. I still lived in the estate, however, Jane lived further up into Mt Tamborine. You have to understand - we caught a ''coach bus'' to and from school, because where we lived at the time was a good 30-60 minutes bus ride from the closest high school. So in what became a very annoying ritual for our parents, I would very conveniently ''forget'' to get off at my bus stop, and even more conveniently, wait to get off at Jane's bus stop - a further half an hour drive from my house. It was at this time I would then phone my Mum and state the rather obvious fact that I was literally up the mountain! To say she was not happy would be a huge understatement...

Soooo, it is with much amusement that I make this post, as I have just told Chelsea and her bestie to have another drink (that they realllllllly needed) and go to the toilet again, and stop coming out of bed! They have spent the evening giggling, playing princesses, annoying Cadyn and generally having a lovely time together.

As my children reach the different milestones in relation to their ages, the memories flood through - an overwhelming majority of them are joyous, and then there is that tiny little minority that makes me that little bit more protective of my bundles of joy!

So the quote for this evening and hence the reason for the title - ''Jimmy called me sexy when he became my boyfriend'' - from Chelsea's bestie!

Good night! x

My debut

I have finally bitten the proverbial bullet and am officially diving in to the world of the ''blog''. This is unheralded territory for me - but something I have been urged to do by many who seem to ''enjoy'' my daily rantings on my facebook page...

So where do I begin? I am thinking you (now i say ''you'' in the wonderful anticipation that there may be many you's in the near future) may want to know more about me? Well, I try really hard not to pigeon hole myself in to one category ie. mother, wife. But to be quite honest - being a wife and mother is truly my greatest achievement in life, so I have to bring them up first!

My four beautiful children are Lochie 11/98, Chelsea 5/03, Cadyn 9/04 and Chloe 08/08. They are probably the main reason for me to get up in the morning - believe me, if they weren't here I would sleep all day! All four of them give me joy, heartache, pain, laughter, tears and unbelievable pride. Most days it's only one or two of those things, but there's also days when all of those feelings are rolled in to a 12 hour period, and I repeat to myself ''I chose to have them, I chose to have them, I chose to have them''!

I'm sure as I get in to the swing of blogging, you will put many a puzzle together. You see, my life has been a mosaic of family and friends, life choices that have changed unexpectantly, and decisions that have changed the path of my wonderful life for better, and sometimes unfortunately - for worse! But I will keep it simple for my first blog....best not to make you run!

The other wonderful reason for my waking every morning, is my ever patient and delightful husband/soul mate/friend - Andrew. I met Andrew at a time in my life that I truly started to believe I would not meet anyone like him. He burst on to my computer screen just when I had begun to give up hope.....and has every day since given me reason to smile and be grateful for the unexpected in life!

I guess the other ''big part'' of my life is my job. Job - noun - anything a person is expected or obliged to do; duty; responsibility. Looking up the dictionary for the ''official'' description has led me to finally believe that my job is more than just a job! I have been a disability carer for twelve years. It is an occupation I sort of fell in to. I know that sounds odd......but one does not go from one day working in an office to the next day caring for people with a disability without a bit of falling! But amongst all the falling, tripping and potential stuff-ups along the way, I have managed to thoroughly enjoy myself and find something that makes me feel like I'm making a difference in the world, albeit a small one.

So, that's a really, really quick rundown on what I'm about. My hope for this blog is to really just share my daily thoughts, tears and triumphs......and hopefully to make someone out there smile and understand ''it's not just them'' on this journey we call life.

And for today's favourite quote ''Mork calling Orson, come in Orson''.........from the hilarious 80's sitcom ''Mork & Mindy''. I find myself using this quote from time to time - mostly to try and catch my children's attention! Usually all it achieves is a strange look and a ''whatchutalkinboutwillis'' kind of feeling!

Have a wonderful day! x