Breathing not Yelling

Hi...my name is Midge and it has been three days since I have yelled at my kids!!  And I'm feeling rather good about it!  Not only that, but I also caught up with a beautiful friend this morning, who has been going through a really tough time with her littlest boy enduring a shitty few weeks with an infection in his leg - that went septic.  I've shed tears for her and her little boy these last few days.  Nobody likes to see a little person go through so much pain.  I'm so glad that he is going to be ok.  And I'm so glad that I could lend a shoulder today.  We talked about my blog post the other day and I had one of those "ahh-haa" moments.  Letting it all out has enabled me to reflect.  Sort of like working out why on earth I was doing all of that yelling?  Still don't have all the answers, but was able to note some subtle changes since then.....

Whilst not yelling at my children, I have been breathing.  Literally.  Example - this afternoon Chloe decides she would like to take the hair ties box, a decent sized My Little Pony and a hair brush with her in the stroller to school pick up - as You do.  I tell her that she's not taking the hair ties and the tears start (hers, not mine) the feet get ready to stomp, and it's at about this time I usually open my lungs and let rip.  Nope.  Not today.  I took a few breaths and tried to reason with her.  Compromise is my new best friend.  She is calmed with the knowledge she can take the damn pony and brush.  Phew.

Whilst not yelling at my children I have spent some time with them.  I picked Chels and Cadyn up from school yesterday afternoon and we went to the shopping centre.  I bought them a slurpee when they asked - they were in shock.  I let them act like fools whilst I earnestly tried on dresses in the fitting rooms at Myer.  Cadyn commented on one dress telling me I looked nice.  Nice.  I'm trying really hard to choose my battles a little more wisely.  This is advice I was given many years ago, and sometimes forget.  I mean really, if wrestling on the ground outside the change rooms is going to allow me to get what I need to get done, and they're not hurting anyone (except their ears) then why bother trying to make them sit still??

Whilst not yelling at my children I have asked them very politely to go about a few chores.  They have been doing them, with very minimal huffing and puffing or eye-rolling.  Cadyn was having trouble with the broom this morning, so I offered to take over and whilst trying to get beside the lounge I picked up Chloe's little play stroller and flung it over the other side of the room.  Cadyn asked me if I was angry?  It's moments like those that make my stomach drop.  My kids think I'm angry.  I told him I wasn't angry, I was just moving the stroller in a rather quick way!

Whilst I haven't been yelling at my children, I have noticed I'm getting some serious lovin' from them.  Chelsea popped her arm around me whilst we were walking through the shops yesterday.  Cadyn has been giving me random hugs.  Chloe is the same little 3 year old who is possibly too young to figure out that Mummy is trying something different!  And Lochie arrives back from his Dad's tomorrow, so will probably think he is entering the Twilight Zone.....


So it looks like I'm on track with my plan!  Not only did I have a REALLY good talk, I went for my first run in months tonight!  Which means I will most likely not be able to walk for the next couple of days.....

Look, I'm not perfect (don't tell my husband I said that - I like him to believe I am).  Never will be.  But I'm trying!!!