This weekend past was one worth treasuring. Both of my boys played their first games of basketball, Cadyn was a superstar, and revelled in every minute. Lochie, at the age of 13, was a little anxious, but held his own on the court and made me proud that he was starting a sport when most other boys had played for years. My girls made me smile as we talked about sleepovers and friends. Sunday brought a family outing to Ikea, and excitement at the changes that were happening around us - new house, which means new bedrooms. New school, which means new friendships. And to top off this wonderful weekend, my husband and I headed out to gold class for a hilarious movie - "The Dictator".
The end of the movie brought some relief - my bladder could not take any more laughing. But it also brought tears - as we were told that my husband's beautiful Nanna had passed away.
We were not surprised, she had been sleeping this past week, and we had been given the week to reflect on her 93 years of life. But it still stung. Seeing my Mother in Law surrounded by her three boys made me smile, after the tears.
The predicament I find myself in now, is how to say goodbye? Not for myself, but for my children? Chelsea, all of nine years old, crawled on to my lap last night and cried for her Great-grandmother. They had a special bond, being that she was born on the same date as Nanna - only 84 years later. As I looked through photographs last night I noted that each birthday we had celebrated with Nanna was captured with Chelsea blowing out the candles. This year was no different. Only four weeks ago we all gathered for a celebratory lunch and Chelsea blew out Nanna's candles.
As preparations are being made to farewell the "Matriarch" of the family, I am debating whether our children should attend her funeral? DO children attend funerals? Do I give them the choice to attend or do we just make the decision for them? Although I know it will inevitably be sad - I also think that 93 years of amazing living is one to celebrate.
What would you do?
Nanna
10.5.1919 - 3.6.2012
I lost my Grandma last year, one month to the day after she turned 98, and we had the same problem as all my in-laws live interstate and I have never left my 1yr old with friends before.
ReplyDeleteIn the end when I stopped and thought about it I realized that my Grandma lived for her family and as I was quite close to her, she loved my boys dearly so it was an easy decision.
The both did remarkably well my 4yr old sat on my lap the whole time and actually behaved better then his 8 yr old cousin. It was a bit much for my younger son so my husband spent most of the service in the overflow room (which had a TV broadcast of the service)
At the end of the day you can only do what you think is right for you and your family
That's really sad news. My children have been to quite a few funerals, from a fairly young age. There's so much to learn, and kids do seem to pick up on the tone of the occasion and behave appropriately. Thinking of you all.
ReplyDeleteJust do whatever feels right:) So sorry for your loss
ReplyDeleteMy kids went to all of my Grandparents funerals. I thought it was as much their right to say goodbye to someone they'd loved as it was mine. But it's an individual decision. You have to do what seems right to you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry too. Grandmothers are really special people.