Find Me A Soapbox!!!

I've just been aimlessly wandering around Facebook, you know, checking out what everyone's up to, reading inspirational quotes and looking at cute photos.  And then I see it.  Again. 

The word "retard".

Seriously, what year do we live in?  I could almost understand if we were still in 1485....

But we're not.  It's 2013, and this word has been well and truly outed as a derogatory term used to call people who have disabilities.  The fact that it is still used so widely to put people down, make fun of others AND give shit to people with disabilities makes me really cross.  Yes, I'm cross!

Now, I'm not perfect.  I think we've established that over the years.  However, I am a grown up.  I have grown up to realise that such derogatory terms should not be used.  That with growing up, you learn to use your vocabulary.  Broaden your knowledge and all that.  Apparently this does not happen to everyone?

Maybe I'm a little bit precious about this?  Maybe because I've spent the past 16 years of my life working with people who just happen to be living with intellectual disabilities, I'm a little bit touchy on the subject of derogatory labels?  Maybe.  Or maybe it is just because I'm a human being with empathy.  And common sense.

For God's sake people - start using your brain before you post something on a social media site that could potentially upset or offend your friends.  Think about the fact that you may very well have friends or family who actually have family members living with some type of disability.  And think about how you would feel if you child, sibling or someone you love was being called a "retard".

And yes, I am writing this very hasty and annoyance fuelled blog post because if I didn't, I would be blurting this all out on Facebook, possibly offending others who actually like to call people retards.  How is that right?

Ok.  Stepping down off my soap box.  For now.

Do you have any words or labels that really offend your sensibilities?  Share.

** Disclaimer - I am not saying I don't use labels for people - I use the words Dickhead, Idiot, F*ckwit etc quite often..... But it's generally very warranted!

Lessons Learnt

A conversation last night, albeit via Skype,  led me to lots of thinking.  This is not new - my brain is generally on over-drive most days.  But it made me think about all of the lessons I have learnt over time, and made me question what makes some people tick?  Why do some of us take lessons in, suck the information in and take it as it is?  Why do others buck the trend, pushing boundaries and rules, only then to learn the lesson - sometimes too late?

Of all the lessons I have been taught, these are some that have stuck with me....

"Drugs will kill you" - I clearly remember this lesson, and took it on board!  From that day forward I believed that if I were ever tempted to try hard drugs, I would die.  It would be just my luck.  So I never did them.  Don't get me wrong - I'm no angel.  I gave Pot a go, but still have no idea all these years later what the appeal is?  I have also learnt, way too close to home, that this apparent "soft drug" can be much more harmful than it has ever been given credit for......

The Grim Reaper - remember him?  Those ads in the 80's of him standing in the bowling alley, knocking over people who had contracted AIDS, had me shaking in my boots.  It's a shame that we don't have such hard hitting ads aimed at teenagers these days.....

Special occasion hair and make up - DO NOT allow anyone in Myer in the 90's to do your make up an hour before your engagement party!  Lesson well and truly learnt there!

"Friendships Evolve" - A dear friend of mine shared this pearl of wisdom many years ago.  When we met, we were new Mums trying to make sense of the little human beings we had been entrusted with.  I was 11 years her junior, and took her wisdom for granted.  She was right on the money.

"Smoking Kills" - And people still smoke.  Young people still take it up.  Just.  Don't.  Get.  It.

I wonder if the designers at this "up-market" label were on some sort of drugs when they decided to release this beauty?

90's fashion.  Wrong then.  Still wrong now.

First impressions are usually lasting - I don't know how many times it will take me to get this!  I can usually pick someone's personality the first time I meet them.  You know, whether they're my "kind of person"?  Sometimes, just sometimes, I get it wrong!  But most of the time - I get it right.

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been different" - Oprah.  I've shared this one before, and will probably share it again.  It's worth sharing.  I miss Oprah.....

And last but not least?

Treat others as you would like to be treated.  I try my hardest to do this on a daily basis.  I am only human, so if I am pushed - I will push back.  But generally speaking, I can stick to my guns.  I definitely think my work helps.  Through working with people with disabilities, and also when I did some aged care, I have learnt how NOT to treat others.  Respect, dignity and a whole lot of patience can go a very long way.  Given - it is a whole lot harder to apply these to the general public at times!

So tell me - what are the greatest lessons you have learnt?  And are you passing them on?

Day 22 - Where I work

I often get asked what I do for a job?  As most people probably do.  When I tell them I am a Disability Carer, I get a variety of reactions.  The usual response is "Ohhhhh, You are such a special person doing that job".  It used to bother me and I would fob it off.  But over the last couple of years (I've had the same job for 15 years!) I have chosen to agree (somewhat sarcastically) that yes indeed - I am special!

One of the other responses I get bothered by, is after I tell them I work in a house.  The quizzical look on people's faces means that they either 

A)  Think that this house has padded walls and looks like a hospital

OR

B) People with disabilities aren't supposed to live in houses?

So this is my photo of where I work - the front door of a regular house, on a regular street where the people living there lead regular lives surrounded by regular people.

 Only a couple of nights ago, my husband and I were watching  "A Current Affair".  He  had told me that there was a story on Autism, and he proceeded to sit down with me to see what it was about.  If you didn't see it, it's about Ricky Stuart (famous NRL player and coach) and his family.  His daughter has autism, and they talk quite passionately about their lives.  It was quite a lovely story.  But right at the end of the story, when talking about the future for their daughter, and what that future may hold, both Ricky and his wife remarked that "there should be beautiful facilities for these kids to live in, and be well looked after". 

 I have to say - this annoyed me.

The home where I just happen to work, IS a home.  It is not a hospital, nor an institution, or a facility.  Those days are long gone.  It is a home for five amazing human beings, whom need assistance in their day to day life.  They also require support with some of the wonderful skills they have.  The majority of them also have loving and caring families who are very happy with the support we, as staff, give to 

their family members.

I realise that I will never be in these parents shoes, as I do not have a child with special needs, and I do not have the added worries about what will happen to them when I go, but I just wanted to reassure those that do have such worries - there is an answer.

Sure, there are not enough places and houses for all of those needing housing.  There will unfortunately always be waiting lists, because our Governments have budgets and can only do so much.  But for those of you who have children with disabilities, and are wondering what you are going to do when you are no longer around to care and support your children - rest assured that there are hundreds, if not thousands of people who carry out the same job as I do on a daily basis.  And we love the people we work with.  

They are our extended families too.

So - where do you work?

WTF - aka What The Friday?

Image from: http://www.promptfolio.hu/portfolio/wallpaper-wtf/41/

This past week I have come across so many things that have had me saying "What the?!", so I thought I would dedicate today to these moments, and share some of them with you....

-  I cannot count the number of grown up  adult members of the public who have either walked past me or been within close proximity of me, whom have either decided not to wash and/or apply deodorant, or just have no sense of smell.  Seriously people, do you not have any pride in yourself?  Do you not realise how disgusting it is to have to smell your odour as you pass others' noses?  Ewwwwww.....

-  Whilst working the other day, I took one of the lovely elderly gentlemen out to the local shopping centre.  As I have mentioned in past posts, I work in the disability field, and this man has Downs Syndrome.  So we're having a lovely time, walking around when I see a couple of families walking towards us, and the kids are laughing.  I look next to me and my friend's jeans had come down around his thighs (note to self: check he's wearing a belt in future).  I was horrified, not for me - but for him.  I quickly pulled his strides up for him.  But what I was most horrified about, was the fact that the parents with these kids laughing were ok with this.  And they were ok with walking past us, and not telling me that there was an issue.  I know that if I was to see this happen to someone, I would definately let them know, and offer assistance if required.  And if my kids were to be the ones laughing, I would be explaining to them that it is perhaps not the nicest thing to do.  Grrrrr......

Ummmm.....Melbourne - why oh why do we have statues of babies with tails in our city???

-  I'm constantly amazed at how people have arguments/fights/all-out brawls in the public arena that is Facebook.  This week I was "lucky" to see a bunch of 18 year olds go hell for leather at each other, totalling over 500 replies on the one status!  I was exhausted after scrolling through the first hundred, but was astounded to see multiple uses of the "c" bomb and the "n" word.....  Gob-smacked.

And lastly - The news this morning that a 14 year old boy had been detained in Bali for being caught buying marijuana.  There are so many judgements and opinions flying around social networking sites, but the only one I am going to part with is: My son is a month shy of 13.  Not in a pink fit would I let him wander around Bali (yes, I have been there, so do have some idea of what it's like) and be put in the predicament this poor child has been placed in.  I feel terribly sorry for him, and his parents, because this mistake or seemingly bad judgement call could potentially cost him and them very, very dearly.