Fiji - A Review of Sorts!

A little over a week ago, I was sitting in a hammock, reading a great book and listening to the sound of gentle waves lapping at the shore.  The only thing that could remotely annoy me were the ever present "mozzies", but even they were easily tamed with some local insect repellant.  My husband and I had seven whole days of peace and tranquility.  We had relaxation overload.  We met new friends and learnt a lot about different cultures.  It was an experience that I shall never forget, and one that I would most eagerly repeat, time and time again.  Our "honeymoon" we had waited almost ten years for, was amazing.  So here is my "sharing is caring" post - and a review of sorts - if only to get you all to visit this little peace of heaven!  Enjoy....

Leaving Melbourne at 2am was never going to be ideal, and try as I may, I could not get a wink of sleep!  So we landed in Nadi a bit worse for wear.  Greeted by a lovely driver, we jumped in his car and took a delightful slightly hair raising two and a half hour drive up the coast.  From there, it was a 30 minute boat ride, across the seas to a little island called Beqa.  And on that island was our destination - Lalati Resort & Spa.  Thankfully, we had these beautiful coconut drinks and a foot massage to greet us!  Oh, and singing and smiles from the local staff. 

This was the view from our room.  Literally steps away from the beach.  The sound at night, of the gentle high tide waves, was beautiful.

Looking out to the jetty from the social hub of the resort.  When I say social, I mean it's here that you can sit around with any or all of the other 16 guests.  Yep, the most guests at this resort at any one time is 18.  And I think that's what makes it so. damn. special.  Oh, and the fact there's no children - which was perfect for all the honeymooners and late honeymooners like ourselves!  You can slip in to the water from the jetty and snorkle to your heart's content.  We saw so many beautiful fish there and amazing big blue starfish!

My husband - just hanging around.

Some of the wonderful staff - Ollie, Josiah and Chantal.  They all live in surrounding villages on the island.  And they were all gorgeous souls!  Josiah was most impressed that I could upload a photo for him to Facebook - so he now has a profile pic!

On our fifth day, Josiah took us on a visit to his village - Lalati village.  It's only a five minute walk from the resort, but it was like stepping back a bit in time.  EVERYONE wore a smile.  And the kids were just divine!  We all had a hoot taking photos, singing and dancing.  Unforgettable.

And on this visit, we took a look inside their church.  Fijians are quite a religious bunch, with churches in each village.  This gorgeous little piece of handwork was inside, so I had to get a photo!

This is me with Captain Josiah after I'd been snorkelling.  We took a boat trip out to the middle of the ocean and were dropped on to the reefs.  To say I was shitting myself would be an understatement, but I sucked it up and relaxed.  It paid off.  We saw reef sharks and amazing fish.  The coral was beautiful.

And this is us with a local firewalker.  Yep, these fellas are known for their ability to walk on hot rocks that have been burning for seven hours.  Not even a flinch!

Excuse the grainy photo from my iphone, but this little cherub kept me company during a Kava drinking and dancing ceremony in the village! We had lots of fun taking photos!

There was no escaping patchwork for me!  This darling skirt was offered to me to wear when we went on a hike up a mountain to a beautiful waterfall.  We had to walk through another village to get there, and the local women do not wear pants, only skirts, so to show our respect, we had to wear skirts over our pants whilst walking through.  Certainly doesn't go with my runners!

And this my friends?  This is a photo of two extremely relaxed and re-juvinated human beings!  I took it just before we departed the island and headed back to the mainland.

I left Lalati with more than I came with.  Not in terms of possessions, but my heart was full.  The people I met and the places we visited just re-itereated to me how bloody lucky I am.  And how much "stuff" we have.  We left some of our stuff over there.  Basically because they needed it more than we do.  I wish I could have had the foresight to have taken lots more with us.

So there you have it.  A destination that I would strongly suggest you all get to one day!  

Have you been on a holiday lately?  Where would you suggest we dream of going to next?

Changing of The Guard - Sans Uterus

I don't know how many times I have said it, but I'll say it again - I'm so glad I do not have a uterus anymore.  I usually utter this sentence upon seeing a divine little newborn human being, as I did yesterday whilst at the local shopping centre.  Andrew was sitting next to me in the hairdressers, whilst we were wrangling the four kids and trying our hardest to keep our shit together whilst one niggled at another, and the four year old was trying desperately to break one of the chairs.  I saw the newborn bundle and my insides ached.  I'm assuming the part that was aching, is the big black hole where once my womb lived?  The same part that grew five (well, only four of them "successfully") human beings.  The part that gave me so much joy, but also so much pain.  Andrew gave me a look when I said it.  You know - THE look.  The "are you fucking crazy" look?

I fear if I still had my uterus I would have continued to churn out babies like nobody's business.  I would have put up with the morning all day sickness, the burst blood vessels in my eyelids from heaving so violently.  I would have gone through the trials and tribulations of gestational diabetes, paying $3 a day for a sugar free chocolate bar, just to get my "fix".  I would have bitched and moaned about how much I hate being pregnant, but in the next breath, declare how thrilled I was to have another baby on the way.  I would have put up with the agony of a shot pelvis.  The embarrassment of having to be pushed around the shops in a wheelchair - for I could not walk longer than 10 minutes without the pain becoming overwhelming.  Yep - I would have gone through all of that, over and over - just for that amazing feeling of elation when you have that gooey, strange little bundle of joy in your arms.

Sigh.

I'm so very thankful, however, that I don't have that option any longer.  My body waved the white flag and I surrendered.  I am so very happy with my tribe.  Only a matter of weeks ago I told one of my best friends that I was happy I did not have to go through the up's and down's of a new baby.  The elation of its arrival, and the deep desperation for sleep.  An hour later, she told me she was pregnant!  Problem solved.  I can live vicariously through my friends.  I am finally the one who can offer to babysit.  I am on the precipice of some form of freedom.

I'm almost on the other side.  2013 will be dishing out time.  For me.  For the first time in more than 14 years, I will have more than a fleeting couple of hours to myself on a regular basis.  In fact - I will have TWO WHOLE DAYS A WEEK!  When this occurred to me a few months ago, I said to Andrew I could pick up some extra work.  And then I found my head and screwed it back on and slapped myself.  Those two days a week are going to be filled with lots of nothing.  I am not planning anything.  I'm winging it!  (Ok, I'm being hopeful, but I really AM planning on doing lots of random shit that is totally unplanned)

So, as I patiently await the arrival of numerous bundles of joy, from a lovely array of friends, I will be busily not planning what I will be doing next year.  I will be filling my diary with play dates, of the grown up variety.  I may finally remember what it is like to go a whole day without having to feed someone else, change the channels constantly and figure out why Barbie's shoes won't stay on or translate Dora's antics!  Hola!!

  

Sun Day Random

Sun Day?  Not in Melbourne.....More like Grey Day.  And not in a 50 shades kind of way.....  I've worked all weekend so have not really stepped foot outside except to transfer this lame ass body of mine from home to vehicle, vehicle to workplace.  Oh, I lie - we went over to our friends house last night for a relaxing bat-shit-crazy evening!  Celebrating children's birthdays is never relaxing, but I may say - hanging out with three of our closest families is fun none-the-less.  Last night it was eight adults and nine children.  NINE.  Would have been ten, but Lochie is with his Dad - he escaped the madness.  In the haze that is my head at present (currently on day 11 of an epic migraine/headache) I was able to sit back relatively quietly and watch the unbridled fun and madness unfold.  It's amazing how much joy can be gained from setting up a bean bag at the bottom of ONE step and continually running and jumping on it?  Lucky for all of us, this round of bean bag diving did not end in tears.

Tonight, I have arrived home from work to an empty house.  Bliss.  Kudos to the AFL big-wigs who schedule the odd 4.40pm game at the MCG, allowing me some contemplative peace and quiet, to think of the million things I have ahead of me this coming week.  And a big hi-five to Andrew, who so capably packs up the three youngest kids and jumps on a train to the city - all in the name of cheering on your team!

This morning was my designated "sleep in day"....... Fail.  The all too common sound of "Mummmmmmm" at 7.28am woke me from a deep slumber.  I pretended not to hear it, hoping (in vain) that Andrew would rise instead.  "Mummmmmmmmm" continued.  So I rolled out and trotted to Chloe's room, to find a wet and cold little girl in bed.  She hasn't wet the bed in  months, so me thinks she too is very tired.  Got her dressed and set up in front of the tv and crawled back to my bed.  Closed my eyes and just lay there for the next 30 minutes.  Fail.

In my usual flurry that comes with a 10.30am Sunday shift, I got ready for work and then decided it would be the perfect time to vaccuum the house.  Of course.  But before I could say "Pick all your shit up off the floor" to everyone, I pulled Chelsea's curtains back and audibly gasped as I discovered Chloe's version of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" on the wall.  Fab.  HOW on earth did I get through FOUR freakin kids before one of them decides she is an artist?  A wall artist?  This child will be the death of me.  As will the frickin fours!  Thank God for Gumption (that's not an ode to my inner strength or courage, it's a life-saving white paste that cleans almost everything off anything!).  Little turkey sat and tried washing it off like I asked, and then watched as the gumption magically scrubbed off her masterpiece.

The never-ending project that is our home is *hopefully* coming to and end.  Well, to a point.  The lovely fellow we signed up to do all the works for us got a job a week after we moved in, so it slowed all of the finishing off right down.  It has been a bit of a nightmare, mostly because we are all living in a half-finished home.  Doors missing, or not closing properly amongst some of the little things irritating me.  But he's assured us he only has a couple of days left, and fingers crossed, will be done by end of day Wednesday.  Hoorah.  NOW the other stuff begins.  We've just got the quote for the new driveway, and are pleasantly surprised with the price.  Hallefuckinglujah!  We can't park in our driveway at present because of the swamp disguising itself as a front yard.  It's mud central.  That's the other thing on the list - flying my retired plumber Dad down from Queensland to lay ag-pipe through the whole yard in the hope of reducing its bog-like resemblance.  Oh, and the cracked pipe.....the list goes on.....

Andrew is off to Sydney next weekend.  Each year he flies off somewhere with a mate or his Dad, to watch the footy.  I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to secretly purchase flights for the kids to the same destination and meet him at the airport with their luggage?  Then I could just toddle back home and sleep for two days?  No?

Okay, I've successfully tapped away here for a little bit, now what to do with my last hour or so of peace before a week of bedlam begins.....all over again?  Do you sometimes feel like you are living a never-ending version of Groundhog Day?

P.s. The farking cat has not even gone near the freakin lounges!!!  So disappointed not to see her reaction to the sticky paws - I had a video camera set up so I could win a million dollars on Funniest Home Videos.....shame.  I, however, have been stuck to it numerous times........

P.s.s.  I didn't really have a camera set up.  But now I think of it......

Heavy Words make for Lighter Shoulders

A couple of nights ago I let you in on something.  Something that had been bothering me, but not overwhelming me.  What HAS overwhelmed me is the amazing amount of support I have received from that one little post.  Countless messages, posts on my business page and emails.  Mixed in with "real life" friends checking in on me.  It has been very heartening.  So thank YOU.  Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone.  Thank you for letting me know that by writing how I was feeling, and struggling, helped you out in some way.  Thank you for your tips on how you get through.....with life.  It has been lovely.

You want to know something strange though?  Since hitting the "publish" button, I have felt a whole lot lighter.  And brighter.  It's like I had been holding in a little secret.  And now that it is out, I feel like some weight has been lifted.  It's very promising.  My husband told me I was a legend......a brave one.  No wonder I love him.....

That post has also made me think more about how I am feeling.  I'm tired!  Perhaps from all the thinking?

Saw this on Facebook today.....It is So me.....

 No, seriously, I'm wondering if my 37 year old body is heading in to a new "phase" of life?  Has the post-hysterectomy honeymoon come to an end?  Please explain....

After I had my hysterectomy, (yes, in my great Father-in-law's words, I now have a driveway, but no garage.....) besides the awful nine weeks post-op, my entire physical and mental make-up was rejuvenated!  It was like my body was celebrating having the nasty parts that were causing it grief removed.  I have laughed endlessly at the visualisation of my poor little ovaries wavering in the dark, wondering where they are and why they are no longer attached to the parts that were taken??  I wonder where the little eggs that are still released each month must end up?  Just floating around aimlessly...... The PMS that caused me, and let's face it - everyone else in my household grief, all but disappeared.  And the fact that I didn't have to put up with feeling like shit for two weeks every month was great.  Life was fabulous!!

Now, it's like my body has gotten comfortable, like an old marriage.  I think I need an overhaul!

Sooooo, the next step for me I have decided, is to get moving again.  I don't know how, or when, but I need to get out and get some exercise.  I love running.....but the only running I do these days is to the computer when my Skype starts ringing!  Not a good thing.

I'm also going to start talking more.  To everyone.  I'll apologise in advance - especially to my real life friends who will probably get sick of me!  I think we sometimes forget to talk.  Like REALLY talk.  About how we are feeling.  How we are doing.  

So that's where I'm at.  Today anyway.  I now have to go and relax.  Stop thinking....and start watching "Offspring"!!!

I Heart My Wednesday Quickies....

Quicky Chinese massage that is....

Gone are the days I could just book myself in for an hour long "relaxation" massage.  Gone are the days where a massage was purely for relaxation.  Gone are the days of booking in for any sort of appointment, period.

I now treat myself, almost every Wednesday, to a Quicky!  I work Wednesdays, twice a month I finish at 3.30pm, the other two Wednesdays, it's a 5.30 finish.  And I am trying very, very hard to just take 20 minutes after work to fly up to the local shopping centre and throw myself into a cheap, plastic lime green chair.  I then wait for the compulsory napkin-like cloth to be placed over my shoulders, before being pummelled like bread dough.  It's not the most ideal of massages - but gees I love it!

Most times whilst undertaking this sometimes torturous pleasure, the lovely chinese masseuse manages to find the most ridiculously sore spots in my neck and shoulders.  And after I cringe and groan in pain, they always kindly ask if I'm ok?  Ahhhh, yep.....don't talk, keep hurting me!  It's that fine line between pleasure and pain that is the best part.

The parts I do not enjoy?  The constant banter between massage therapists - don't know whether it's Mandarin or Cantonese - either way, I do not understand.  And I'm always curious to know what on earth they are talking about?  I also don't necessarily find their choices of music enjoyable.  It's usually some shady jazz CD, or Chinese mandolin.  Not my preferences.

But you know what?  I DON'T CARE!  It's my 20 minutes.  By myself.  For myself.

Does it matter that as soon as I've paid and farewelled my torturer, I spend the next fifteen minutes scrambling to the car, speeding to creche to pick up the youngest and then speeding to after school care to pick up Chelsea and Cadyn?  Nope.  I just start counting down the hours to my next quicky.....

How do you spend time by yourself, for yourself?