Not Much of a Muchness

I have been a little quiet here of late.  Not on purpose.  I just really had nothing of interest to add to the blogosphere, nothing that I felt was blog-worthy.  I still really don't, so I'm having one of those random "open up blogger and blurt out whatever is in your head" kind of moments.  Here I am!

Last night our delightful little puppy dog - Hamish - decided he would channel his inner Houdini and escape.  Out in to the darkness, in a neighbourhood he has absolutely no knowledge of whatsoever.  We realised his little trick at approximately 9pm when Lochie went out to feed him. So the following hour was spent driving around the neighbourhood and printing out lame ass posters and sticking them on light posts in our immediate area.  I say lame ass because I literally could not find one single bloody photo of him, so it was a MISSING poster without an actual photo of him!

I went to bed exhausted, because between worrying about the frigging dog, and worrying that Jason would win X-Factor - I had fried my brain and could not function any longer!  Slumber arrived rapidly.  And disappeared approximately three hours later.

The delightful Chloe - aka "Go The F*ck To Sleep" - decided 2am would be an appropriate time to wake up, and continue being awake, until she had not only woken both Andrew and I up, but also her brother.  This fun torture ensued until I was confident she was back in bed, and Cadyn had ceased complaining about having something "killing his eye".  Slumber returned.

6.15am arrived with the sound of three over-enthusiastic and LOUD children downstairs.  I soon ruined their party by stumbling down the stairs with one eye open and questioning why the hell they were all so chipper at such a ridiculous time of the day?

"We've been awake since three o'clock Mum"

*********crickets********

WTF?!???!?!

Yep - it seems when slumber attacked my sleep-deprived body, dear little Chloe returned downstairs and got both Chelsea and Cadyn up, and they eventually gave up trying to get her back to bed - and decided on a few good early hours of television........

After shouting a few expletives, Chelsea crawled back to bed and I left the other two turkeys to continue watching Sponge-Bob.  And got another half hour of shut eye in before my alarm went off.

Upon waking - again - I wondered how the hell I was going to manage three over-tired children, a missing dog, un-washed hair and a 9.5 hour shift at work??  I went in to auto-pilot and sorted children out, left for work on time, watched Chloe in the rear vision mirror as she nodded off to sleep on the way to creche.  Wished the creche staff well upon my departure (yehhhh - good luck!!) and got to work right on 8am!  The following hour was made up of phone calls to all our local vets, RSPCA and the micro-chipping place - because as luck would have it, I of course had not gotten around to updating our details since moving...

As I then pondered my next move, I thought about the multitude of ridiculous fines I would be receiving if the council managed to find Hamish before someone else.  Because really, it would just be common sense to have him neutered, registered and kept in an escape-free backyard yes?  Apparently not.

Anyway - as luck would have it - one of the local vets called me back not long after to tell me a lovely lady had brought him in!  Hoorah!!  Thank f*cking God!!  Bank account exhales.....

It's hard work being exhausted after a night out on the town!

Butter.  Wouldn't.  Melt.

The rest of the day?  Well, it was very un-newsworthy, as it should be.  I spent the drive home with the car windows wide open, handing Chloe chocolate - just to keep her awake!  And all three kids were done and dusted and out like a light by 7pm.

PHEW

Anything exciting going on in your corner of the world?

Sun Day Random

Sun Day?  Not in Melbourne.....More like Grey Day.  And not in a 50 shades kind of way.....  I've worked all weekend so have not really stepped foot outside except to transfer this lame ass body of mine from home to vehicle, vehicle to workplace.  Oh, I lie - we went over to our friends house last night for a relaxing bat-shit-crazy evening!  Celebrating children's birthdays is never relaxing, but I may say - hanging out with three of our closest families is fun none-the-less.  Last night it was eight adults and nine children.  NINE.  Would have been ten, but Lochie is with his Dad - he escaped the madness.  In the haze that is my head at present (currently on day 11 of an epic migraine/headache) I was able to sit back relatively quietly and watch the unbridled fun and madness unfold.  It's amazing how much joy can be gained from setting up a bean bag at the bottom of ONE step and continually running and jumping on it?  Lucky for all of us, this round of bean bag diving did not end in tears.

Tonight, I have arrived home from work to an empty house.  Bliss.  Kudos to the AFL big-wigs who schedule the odd 4.40pm game at the MCG, allowing me some contemplative peace and quiet, to think of the million things I have ahead of me this coming week.  And a big hi-five to Andrew, who so capably packs up the three youngest kids and jumps on a train to the city - all in the name of cheering on your team!

This morning was my designated "sleep in day"....... Fail.  The all too common sound of "Mummmmmmm" at 7.28am woke me from a deep slumber.  I pretended not to hear it, hoping (in vain) that Andrew would rise instead.  "Mummmmmmmmm" continued.  So I rolled out and trotted to Chloe's room, to find a wet and cold little girl in bed.  She hasn't wet the bed in  months, so me thinks she too is very tired.  Got her dressed and set up in front of the tv and crawled back to my bed.  Closed my eyes and just lay there for the next 30 minutes.  Fail.

In my usual flurry that comes with a 10.30am Sunday shift, I got ready for work and then decided it would be the perfect time to vaccuum the house.  Of course.  But before I could say "Pick all your shit up off the floor" to everyone, I pulled Chelsea's curtains back and audibly gasped as I discovered Chloe's version of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" on the wall.  Fab.  HOW on earth did I get through FOUR freakin kids before one of them decides she is an artist?  A wall artist?  This child will be the death of me.  As will the frickin fours!  Thank God for Gumption (that's not an ode to my inner strength or courage, it's a life-saving white paste that cleans almost everything off anything!).  Little turkey sat and tried washing it off like I asked, and then watched as the gumption magically scrubbed off her masterpiece.

The never-ending project that is our home is *hopefully* coming to and end.  Well, to a point.  The lovely fellow we signed up to do all the works for us got a job a week after we moved in, so it slowed all of the finishing off right down.  It has been a bit of a nightmare, mostly because we are all living in a half-finished home.  Doors missing, or not closing properly amongst some of the little things irritating me.  But he's assured us he only has a couple of days left, and fingers crossed, will be done by end of day Wednesday.  Hoorah.  NOW the other stuff begins.  We've just got the quote for the new driveway, and are pleasantly surprised with the price.  Hallefuckinglujah!  We can't park in our driveway at present because of the swamp disguising itself as a front yard.  It's mud central.  That's the other thing on the list - flying my retired plumber Dad down from Queensland to lay ag-pipe through the whole yard in the hope of reducing its bog-like resemblance.  Oh, and the cracked pipe.....the list goes on.....

Andrew is off to Sydney next weekend.  Each year he flies off somewhere with a mate or his Dad, to watch the footy.  I'm wondering if it would be inappropriate to secretly purchase flights for the kids to the same destination and meet him at the airport with their luggage?  Then I could just toddle back home and sleep for two days?  No?

Okay, I've successfully tapped away here for a little bit, now what to do with my last hour or so of peace before a week of bedlam begins.....all over again?  Do you sometimes feel like you are living a never-ending version of Groundhog Day?

P.s. The farking cat has not even gone near the freakin lounges!!!  So disappointed not to see her reaction to the sticky paws - I had a video camera set up so I could win a million dollars on Funniest Home Videos.....shame.  I, however, have been stuck to it numerous times........

P.s.s.  I didn't really have a camera set up.  But now I think of it......

Crises....of sorts

It would be a fair assumption to say I am at a crisis point.  Actually, I am at a crisis junction - too many crises!  Where to start?

#1 - I received Chloe's kindergarten forms last week.  Which was all very exciting.  Until reality struck.  My baby will only be home one day per week.  GREAT I hear you say?  Well that's what I thought I would be saying - but I'm now in panic mode.  14 years of having a child at home with me is coming to an end a little too suddenly.  I need to wrap my head around that.....

#2 - Work.  I have been at the same job for some 15 years.  Love my job.  Not so much loving the shift work attached to said job these days.  Working every second weekend has lost its appeal.  Having three out of four children playing weekend sport as well as a husband who widows me every Summer, has made this past year frustrating.  Shift work is ideal for families with small children, but as we move into this next phase of activity over-drive, I'm finding myself treading water.  Lucky I have an awesome boss who doesn't slap me around when I'm having my all-too-familiar meltdowns!

#3 - The Big Brown House.  It's becoming very real that in a matter of weeks, we will have a mortgage.  A very substantial mortgage at that.  Back in my past life, at the ripe old age of 21, I bought a house.  For $75k!  Now THAT was a mortgage.  As I lay in bed trying to work out where the ABC1 weather man gets his outfits from, I told Andrew I was having a bit of a heart attack.  About the mortgage.  He laughed.

#4 - Seal quite obviously needs some sexual healing.  I watched "The Voice" and felt the skin crawling off my bones during Emma's performance.  At about 1.10 minutes in, it gets uncomfortable.  He needs to learn how to hide his lust!  And how to get a private room......

I could go on.  But I shan't bore you all!  

Anything got your knickers in a knot??


ps. this is my 200th blog post!  I'm going to get an icy-pole to celebrate....cos that's how I roll!

Frickin Fours

As I type, I'm trying to take deep breaths and resist the urge to scream.  I have just put Chloe (3.5 years old) in to her bed and told her to calm down.  Prior to this, I listened to five minutes of screaming from her.  

And now - silence.  And waiting.  Yep, spoke too soon.  She's moved on to crying.  Some days I think my head is going to explode.

The public consensus is that it's the Terrible Two's parents have to prepare themselves for.  But in this household, it's Frickin Fours.  And it seems this final instalment in my parenting schedule is kicking in early.  My child is turning into the she-devil.

Attributes of a parent child inflicted with the Frickin Fours can include screaming and crying for no reason, screaming and crying for any reason, screaming and crying because you're telling them to stop screaming and crying.  Annoying their older siblings, and trying to get their own way, because for the past few years, said older siblings have given in to child because they were so cute.  No, no, no and more no!  Jumping on the spot yelling no!  Spinning round in circles - yelling no!  You get the picture....

My delicate little flower of a child has turned.  She has more personality than any of my older children had at this age, and she uses it to her advantage.  And I'm spent....

How does a child go from this:

To this?

Picture from www.sarahleavitt.com

In a matter of seconds....

And just to throw me right off the trail....in the time it has taken me to write this post....she has gone to sleep, in her bed, during daylight hours - for the first time in about a year!!!  I give up......

What has been the hardest age so far in your parenting?