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| No....really I am |
I'm sorry for not having patience. I'm sorry for yelling and for not waiting to hear what you have to say. I'm sorry I am not the kind of Mother who sits down and plays games and puzzles for hours. I'm sorry I always left that stuff for Nanna to do with you.
I'm sorry for not fully understanding or "getting" your mental illness. I'm sorry I have to check out of our relationship at times, to breath and not be overwhelmed, because you are so overwhelmed. I'm sorry I can't be with you in your darkest hours, the hours you spend awake at night because your mind is racing and your heart is broken. And i'm sorry you feel so alone.
I'm sorry you "de-friended" me. But I'm only sorry because you have missed out on so much since then. I'm sorry that my daughter no longer has the god-mother she was given at her baptism. But grateful that she now has an amazing woman to call Aunty. I'm sorry I can't look at you every.single.day. I'm still angry, frustrated and annoyed. But I'm also grateful, amazed and in wonder of all the beautiful friendships that have taken your place.
I'm sorry I'm not a martyr. I know how to say no. So I do. And I don't feel bad about it - most of the time. I'm sorry I tell you all the things you don't want to hear. I only speak the truth. No bullshit.
I'm sorry I'm a hard task-master. I don't mean to be annoying when I find that things aren't done the way I would do them. Or when I don't understand why you wouldn't think to do the things that I think would be automatically done! I'm trying to be less anal-retentive...
I'm sorry I ate KFC for dinner tonight. Truly sorry.
I'm sorry I can't always shoot straight from the hip here. I wish I was a blogger who could say anything without the fear that someone I know would read it and take offence! But I can't. It's not how I roll....
I thnk it was great that you wrote this post within your boundaries and what was and is comfortable for you - it takes guts to participate in a link up, and then guts to write about a lot of these topics, they are hard, and therein lies the beauty xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Lyndal. It's rather cathartic......I'm glad I pressed publish....xx
DeleteI LOVE THIS.
ReplyDeleteSo much in this, wow. I like real things, Ms Midge. You're real.
And I can really relate about how sorry you'd be about the KFC ... remember back in the 80's when it used to taste NICE?
And - I'm sorry about not commenting on your post last week ... the link wasn't working. I saw your name in the linky and googled you just then, to find you here. I'll investigate further, see if it's an issue on my side.
Have a bloody good weekend. XX
Still sorry about the KFC this morning.....my stomach is still not happy. Thanks for popping back in Eden, and you have a fabulous weekend too! x
DeleteI'd be sorry about KFC too. Yuck! Love your honesty. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete