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This darling little gem popped up in my newsfeed this morning on Facebook. My own Mum had shared it. That was four hours ago, and I'm still thinking about it.
I second guess my mothering every. single. day. Considering I am about to venture in to my 14th year of mothering, that makes for a lot of second guessing. I can still remember bringing home my big boofa of a baby all those years ago, and having absolutely no idea what I was doing. I was 23 years old. A baby myself. And this little human being needed me. And I had no idea what I was doing.
Three more children later, and I still find myself - at times - floundering. Beating myself up for not being the Mum I think I should be. Like now. What I should be doing is sitting on the floor playing some sort of game with my four year old. I should be doing that every day yes? But I'm not. And I don't. I'm not a game player.
I worry that my kids will only remember the Mum that was cranky. The bad cop. Will they remember the good stuff? I know my kids love me. The 14 year old told me (via FB when I asked him for some sort of "like, rate, honest" shit that the teenagers do!)..........
"like ur my mum and ur funny tbh ur a pretty kool mum"
So that has to count for something yes?
I'm good at preaching. I'm a big believer in "each to their own" parenting. Don't compare yourself, don't worry about what others are doing - when all along - I'm worrying about what I'm doing? Will the self doubt, as a Mother, ever end?
So I ask you - do you enjoy being the Mum you are?
Midge, never question your "Mummyness". From that second your first child was born, I saw a miracle born. No, it wasn't "the boofa" it was you. You completely forgot that seconds before we were holding hands, you were screaming (sorry, you really were) and bingo I tell you you have a boy. Then I was present at 2 more of your childrens births. What an honour that was too. You and I are the same "we are not game players", I don't "HAVE TO" entertain the grandchildren, I am somehow drawn into their silliness and become one of them. Your children will always remember the days they went to The Wiggles etc. birthday parties at Maccas, or Zagamies, the cakes their Mummy made them that just got better and better each year, holidays in the sun and snow.
ReplyDeleteNO, DON'T EVER QUESTION YOUR MUMMYNESS, you're doing just fine, xx