Who knew? Not me....

So I've been reading hysteria filled posts for months about the fact that Google Reader is closing down. As I read them, I thought "Hmmm, never heard of it" and wondered for a few seconds each time how I read my blog posts and why it wasn't on Google Reader??

Fast forward to a few days ago, when a lovely reader commented that they couldn't find my Bloglovin' follow button thingy, but added me anyway.  And press that fast forward button again to tonight when I finally mentioned said comment to my friend Alyce over at Blossom Heart Quilts.  She suggested that I should add the button for all the new Bloglovin' fashionistas, and to use her tutorial.  So I did.

And who knew?  Well, clearly not me - apparently all these years I HAVE been using Google Reader - in a round about fashion!  Yep, technologically challenged me figured out by signing up to Bloglovin' that when you follow all your blogs through your Blogger Dashboard, it does in fact link up with Google Reader.  Derrrrrrr.......  And I only found this out when I decided to give the "Import Blogs" button a crack.  And 334 blogs a following imported for me.  Ummmmm......

So here you have it friends - 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I'm working on adding the goddamn button!

xxxx

Back to THE Suburb

Last night, we ventured back in to our old suburb.  Apart from getting my hair done, it's the first time I have been back.  We were invited to a get together for Christmas drinks, dinner and swimming.  Perfect.  Only it took me quite a few weeks to decide whether we would be going.  You see, when we moved back in July, we not only moved house, but I moved my head space.  I made a conscious decision to give myself time away from a place that had not only been home for eight years, but had also been very difficult for me to live in for the last two years we were there.

I've written quite a few posts about the shit I went through, but nothing really specific.  I don't find much point in re-hashing past events that I'm "over", but for your sake I'll make it short and sweet.  When Chelsea started Kindergarten, I met a group of really great chicks.  I wasn't really keen on making new friends as I (and this sounds ridiculous) already had enough good friends to get me through.  In fact, I'd only met one of my best friends a couple of years before at playgroup.  Anyway, I embraced these new friendships, and before I knew it, there was a group of us that would sit together at school events, get together on weekends, and go out for dinner on occasion.  Just after I had my hysterectomy, my best friend started distancing herself from me.  And over a month or two, was being so strange around me that I constantly found myself asking her whether I had done something wrong?  After many responses from her that all was well, I was left very confused, but was also very aware that she was spending a whole lot more time with one of the other Mums from school, and to be quite honest - I was hurt.

Eventually I ended up emailing her, and really pressing for a reason as to why things had changed between us?  And that's where it all headed down hill.  Things deteriorated quite quickly and before I knew it I was a bit of an outcast at school and was ignored and shunned by the same people I had become pretty close with.  It devastated me.

Facebook showed me in no uncertain terms that the group were still all friends, and that I had been left out of social gatherings, and my now ex-best friend quite cheerfully changed her profile pics and status updates to include others instead of myself.  Whilst a couple of those women still were polite and cheerful to me in person, my trust was damaged and I had no idea what was being made of me behind my back.   I had become consumed by the events, and was not coping - I'm not ashamed to say that I ended up in counselling.

Thankfully I have an amazing husband, whom at the time told me in no uncertain terms that this group of women would all eventually combust, and turn against one another.  True to his word, this exact thing happened, and some of those same women were left feeling exactly how I had felt.

Throughout this whole shitty ordeal, came a few wonderful things.  I met some other amazing Mums at the school.  And some I already knew became closer to me, and helped lift me out of the crappy situation I was in.

So my mental health was of utmost importance when we moved.  I needed to literally get a whole suburb out of my head.  I needed to re-centre my trust and figure out who it was I wanted to keep in touch with.  Five months later, and a cuppa with a friend early this week ended my break up with suburbia, and helped me to realise that I was now over it.

Fast forward to last night, and a lovely evening spent with some of those same Mums, talking over drinks and screaming kids in the swimming pool.  There wasn't much talk about the past, I'd spoken to each of the women there already, and had buried the hatchet.  It takes a big person to apologise for past mistakes and an even bigger person to let it go.  So yep - I'm calling myself a bigger person!

Anyway, this bigger person has had a fabulous day at work and has just popped the kids in to bed.  Andrew is comfortably planted on the lounge with PS3 controls firmly in hand and I'm wondering how we are going to manage hiding a bike in the shed for 24 hours without the kids sniffing it out?  So with my mental health back at it's best - I will now go and plant my own arse on a different lounge and think of some more reminiscing to share with you before this year is over!

Have you ever felt a time or place has sucked the life out of you?  Do you ever want to throw a video game station out a very high window??  

A Likely Witch Hunt

Happy Mother's Day!  I worked all day but was happy to return home  to a lovely Indian meal cooked by the husband, and the children had all made and bought me lovely bits and pieces.  Nice.


What I didn't think was nice, was the not so brilliant timing of 60 Minutes' story telling.  I mean seriously, putting a story on about smacking, on Mother's Day.  Good one.  I saw the ads for it last week, and straight away thought "fabulous, that woman is going to get roasted".  I'm always curious as to why people would put themselves out there, in the public arena, to be torn to shreds?


Just to clarify - I am NOT anti-smacking.  I am NOT pro-smacking.  I am PRO-PARENTING.  This is my take on it all....


I am not a perfect parent.  Far from it.  I have smacked my kids - on the VERY rare occasion.  It's usually out of frustration.  And I ALWAYS feel guilty after I have done it.  Hence why it has rarely occurred.  Watching the story this evening, I cringed.  This Mum, whom I am certain loves her four children dearly, smacks on a rather regular basis.  My opinion is that if you are smacking your children often, and on a regular basis - it's NOT working.  It's NOT effective.  Change your tact.  Clearly this Mum thinks she is doing the right thing.  And you know what?  That's for her to live with.  I can only imagine that she is now going to go through hell - because every anti-smacker on the earth is going to want her blood.  They will be gunning for her.  And that is unfortunate.


We all parent the only way we know how.  I USED to yell.  Until a few weeks ago.  Things are different in our household now.  I am relishing the random hugs, kisses and "I love you's".  A few days ago, I lost my shit for the first time since then.  And as I raised my voice and lost my temper, my eyes were open.  I saw the way my kids were looking at me.  And I remembered why I stopped yelling.  Their eyes were sad.  I stopped and apologised.


I'm hoping that the Mum from tonight's story watched tonight, and that her eyes were open.  I'm hoping that she saw the looks on her kids faces, and their body language.  And I hope that she learns from it.  I also hope that the wider audience and the media are kind, because after all - she's a Mum, just like the rest of us.  


Did you watch tonight?  Thoughts?

Is it OK not to "like" your kids sometimes?

Ahemmmm.......just clearing my throat before I begin. The title of this entry makes me a little uncomfortable, shifting in my seat as I type. And I'm pretty sure that it will make a few others uncomfortable to read also. But it was prompted by a conversation I had with another Mummy yesterday, and a subject that I think a lot of parents have secretly wondered, but were too scared to talk about?

This topic came up as a good friend and I were catching up on how our kids were going, and the crazy weeks we are having at present. Mine have been crazy due to the added extra child from Japan, Hers due to house renovations and taking up residence at her In-law's house with husband and three children. I think I would rather have a gaggle of Japanese kids staying with us opposed to moving in to the In-law's! Disclaimer: I LOVE my in-law's, just don't think I'd last long living with them and our four kids!

Before-mentioned friend - I shall call her Sally - and I have both been through a difficult time with one of our kids, and she brought up the fact that at times, she really found it hard to get along with her daughter (who is nine) and found they clashed all the time. "Is it OK that I just don't like her sometimes?" LIGHTBULB MOMENT! Of course it's ok I said!!! I have been through those feelings on quite a few occasions over the almost 13 years I have been parenting, and not always with the same child. I was quite happy to make her feel better by concurring that many years ago, I found it hard to get along with my eldest son, because he is SO much like his Father - the man that I divorced because, basically, I didn't like him. And at times, when I used to look at my son, all I could see was his Dad, and it frustrated me! It took me a little while, but I did get over that - and I adore my son for all that he is, including the traits that remind me of his Dad.

I also eased her mind by letting her know that I am currently finding it very hard, not too often thank god, to like my youngest son. I have posted before about how we have been seeking help with him this year, and although it is proving to be helpful, it has seen his "behaviours" escalate at times - almost like he has been given permission to act like a complete twit!

This does not in ANY WAY take away from the complete and utter love I feel for my kids. Or the love she has for her children. But it is just a natural reaction, as a human being, to dislike people at times - be it for their behaviour, attitude or the way they make you feel. Our children are no different. They push buttons, test limits and ultimately make you feel like a terrible person sometimes, when you are having to pull out the "bad cop" persona!

So, Yes, I think it's perfectly OK not to like your kids sometimes. Do you?

On a completely different note, I want to share something with you. I was catching up on Mrs Woog's blog this morning, and this is her latest post: http://www.woogsworld.com/2011/08/fuck-you.html I love Lily Allen and her oh-so-subtle way of getting her point of view across :)