Jelly Belly

Given that I have absolutely no sewing to do at present, I have succumbed to cruising the bloggy world.  Well, succumbed probably isn't the correct term - as it is certainly not a pastime I loath!  I love reading other people's blogs - about their lives, their hobbies, their trials and tribulations.  And tonight was no different.  I have just read BigWordsBlog post.  And I must say, it has struck a cord.  Bianca, the blogger, bared her soul in that post.  Her soul, and her belly.  It is something that I can honestly say, I would never do.  So I am hi-fiving her for doing so!

I know that anyone who knows me - from the outside - would wonder why I would never show my belly?  They would probably be thinking "she's so thin, she doesn't have a belly".  Or something along those lines.  My closest friends, I would hope, would understand.  You see, a lot of the general public see a person who is thin, who does not generally struggle with weight issues as not having any body image issues.  "You're so skinny", "God, I wish I could have four kids and have your figure", "If I looked like you I would wear a bikini"........these are just some of the hundreds of things that have been said to me in recent history.  What these people saying these things do not know is that my body is NOT perfect.  My figure is NOT perfect.  I bare the scars of four pregnancies.  Most of them I got during my first pregnancy, 13 years ago.  My divine 9pound, 9ounce baby boy stretched my stomach way beyond its capacity, and as week 35 rolled around and I dared to hold a mirror under my belly, I was aghast at what I discovered!  The stretch marks went right over my belly button, and therefore half way up my belly.

I too, like Bianca, used the creams, the lotions that made promises of stretch marks never turning up.  I too, like Bianca, had gestational diabetes with my second, third and fourth pregnancies, so only gained a minimal (well if you call 9-12kilos minimal) amount of weight - but still suffered immensely with problems due to my little frame.  And yet, nothing I did changed the course of my body's destiny!

A personal trainer, many years ago, post first pregnancy, told me that it didn't matter how fit, how healthy, nor how thin I was - that bit of jelly belly that wobbled over the top of any muscle mass I had left there, would never go away.  I was devastated.  I was 25 years old, and was divorced.  How on earth was I ever going to meet a wonderful man who would accept my belly for what it was?  Well, first of all, I had to accept my belly for what it was.  And funnily enough, my acceptance came through my amazing husband's acceptance.

My belly is what it is.  My figure is what it is.  Yes, I am thin.  No, I do not have a problem with my weight.  But I do have my imperfections, and my issues with my belly.  I just choose to hide them.  I won't ever wear a bikini again, but I'm at peace with that.  I have four amazing kids to show for the scars I have, and I would never taken them back for a pancake flat tummy!

None of us are perfect, and the sooner we all realise that, maybe we will ease up on ourselves, and cut some slack?  I'm not on my own, am I?