Happy Mother's Day! I worked all day but was happy to return home to a lovely Indian meal cooked by the husband, and the children had all made and bought me lovely bits and pieces. Nice.
What I didn't think was nice, was the not so brilliant timing of 60 Minutes' story telling. I mean seriously, putting a story on about smacking, on Mother's Day. Good one. I saw the ads for it last week, and straight away thought "fabulous, that woman is going to get roasted". I'm always curious as to why people would put themselves out there, in the public arena, to be torn to shreds?
Just to clarify - I am NOT anti-smacking. I am NOT pro-smacking. I am PRO-PARENTING. This is my take on it all....
I am not a perfect parent. Far from it. I have smacked my kids - on the VERY rare occasion. It's usually out of frustration. And I ALWAYS feel guilty after I have done it. Hence why it has rarely occurred. Watching the story this evening, I cringed. This Mum, whom I am certain loves her four children dearly, smacks on a rather regular basis. My opinion is that if you are smacking your children often, and on a regular basis - it's NOT working. It's NOT effective. Change your tact. Clearly this Mum thinks she is doing the right thing. And you know what? That's for her to live with. I can only imagine that she is now going to go through hell - because every anti-smacker on the earth is going to want her blood. They will be gunning for her. And that is unfortunate.
We all parent the only way we know how. I USED to yell. Until a few weeks ago. Things are different in our household now. I am relishing the random hugs, kisses and "I love you's". A few days ago, I lost my shit for the first time since then. And as I raised my voice and lost my temper, my eyes were open. I saw the way my kids were looking at me. And I remembered why I stopped yelling. Their eyes were sad. I stopped and apologised.
I'm hoping that the Mum from tonight's story watched tonight, and that her eyes were open. I'm hoping that she saw the looks on her kids faces, and their body language. And I hope that she learns from it. I also hope that the wider audience and the media are kind, because after all - she's a Mum, just like the rest of us.
Did you watch tonight? Thoughts?
I didn't see 60 minutes, but I did hear about it. People will parent their kids the best way they know how. If that is how they were raised, and they don't know any differently, then that is going to be their method. The only way to change things is for them to be exposed to other methods of discipline, rather than criticising them for the choices they are making. Why do we always seem to see the wrong method being shown on programs like this, without the alternatives also being presented? It's all very well to tell someone they are doing it all wrong, but without providing them with an alternative, then it's a waste of time.
ReplyDeleteI also think 60 Minutes has shock value as their main objective these days.
Absolutely agree with you 100%. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's provocation television at its best x
DeleteI didn't see it, but it sounds like I would have turned it off after a few minutes.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the Time magazine cover? My cousin is a lactation consultant and I have been breastfeeding almost 6 years (3 kids at 2 years apiece) and we've been nattering about it for days. I'd love to hear your opinion!
Hey jamie Lee, I did see the Time cover and was not impressed. Not because of the photo, but because Time chose to use the headline attached to it. To me, it was pinning mothers against mothers, again. I get sick of the media lining up debates, to only serve themselves. They will surely sell tonnes of copies of their magazine, but for all the wrong reasons. In my opinion, if a Mum wants to breastfeed a kids until they're 18 - it's their choice. I wouldn't do it, but each to their own! lol x
DeleteLoved your honesty!! I'm a rather new parent, so have yet to have the joys of dealing with truly challenging behaviour, not that baby behavior isn't challenging, it's just that the options for dealing with it are more limited lol. I just want to say that your personal reflections and the fact that you apologized to your kids resonated with me. It's hard to admit that we aren't perfect and for some reasons it REALLY hard for parents to admit they have made mistakes. There's so much societal pressure to be the perfect parent (whatever that might be) that we all get defensive when people challenge our parenting, I think that makes it hard for us to personally reflect on parenting. If any of that is clear then I'm a bit proud of myself lol. So again, thank you for being so honest about your parenting in a public place.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely clear lol. I think if all parents were a bit more honest about their parenting it would help the new generations of parents!
DeleteI too have been known to 'yell' when enraged. It is scary to me to feel out of control...how much more to my kids? I have apologised and at times had to leave the room instead. For better to discipline when calm than punish when angry. I gave up watching 60 minutes about 4 years ago when they stopped investigative journalism. Far better debate and research on the ABC and SBS. And I also got sick of Tara Brown always interviewing celebrities and gushing over them. She used to have more grit.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on the 60 minutes front, it's all quite polarising.....
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