Tuesday, May 29, 2012

What If Land

About ten days ago I had a little "turn" and thought I  was going to pass out.  I didn't, but somehow travelled to a different planet for the following 36 hours.  To say I felt "odd" would be about right.  Away with the fairies was I.

I did the right thing and took the pathology request that had been under a magnet on the fridge for the past two months and finally had my GTT test.  Turns out I'm not diabetic!  Which is a good thing, seeing as I have just eaten a row of chocolate before I sat down here.....

I also did another right thing and went and saw my GP last week, thinking she would say my test was fine, all was fine, just keep on keeping on.  Fail.

It turns out that being off with the fairies is not an ideal outcome after nearly passing out.  It also turns out that when you tell the GP this has happened a few times before, said GP gets that little concerned furrow on their brow as they sit back in their chair and look quizzically at you.

So now I look like some kind of cyborg.  

Little patches of annoyingly scratchy tape are attached to long cords that lead to a funny little computerised box.  It's called a Holter Monitor.  And it's going to tell me what my heart does over a 24 hour period.  Fun!  Or not so fun.

I also have an appointment with a Nuerologist to look forward to drain my account.  You know, just to rule out whether I have had a minor stroke......  Just as I wrote that I think my heart monitor would have recorded a jump.....

Now, I know you're not supposed to be alarmed when your GP says they are requesting these tests "just to be sure", but I am quite seriously shaking in my freakin boots!  All the what if's in the world are spinning through my over-active mind, and the whole reality of getting older and gaining more health issues seem way too close to home!

Yes - it could just be that I am stressed.  There's plenty going on in my life to induce stress, anxiety and a whole lot of other feelings.  But what if??

I've obviously had to explain to my kids what all the cords and patches are.  It went something like this - 

"Mummy hasn't been well, and is stressed out, so now they're seeing how my heart is working" - this was said through gritted teeth as I attempted to get them to stop fighting as they were going through the front door.....

This comes less than 24 hours after having to explain to them they their Great-Grandmother has gone to sleep and more than likely will not be waking up.  Chelsea replied to this news with "At least she got to live to 93".  Kids are resilient.  And naive.  Just the way I like it.  My husband, on the other hand, is devastated.  As he should be.

Stressed.  Me?  Nooooooooo.......

A positive twist to all this?  I have just opened and read a letter sent from our World Vision Sponsor Child, Keriya.  Well, her Father told the volunteer what to write which is great.  The last line of the letter made my voice quiver.... "Dear sponsor, she will be so happy if you write her a letter and send a post card that can give her an idea about your self and expresses your place to her".  Fills my heart - take that heart monitor!

Sponsor a child
Do you ever go in to What If Land??  How do you navigate out of that place?

1 comment:

  1. I have, but only in a minor way. I get migraines sometimes and my sister is epileptic. She doesn't have fits, she blanks out for 10 seconds (the 'seizure') then gets a headache and sleeps for 12-20 hours. When I moved to Sydney from Newcastle for 2 years I used to travel up and down the freeway regularly. I discovered that if the sun was going down and flickering through the trees I would literally fall asleep at the wheel. No control, no ability to fight it, regardless of the fact that I was far from tired. The second darkness fell and the flickering stopped I would recover. Freaked the hell out of me. Absolutely terrifying. I was just lucky to be able to fight it long enough to pull over. The doc sent me to the neurologist and they tested for epilepsy. The results were negative but it could have just been a good day, who knows. I don't THINK I get seizures but my sister doesn't remember hers! Apparently the driving at sundown/microsleep problem is common among normal people however, so I just have to avoid driving at that time...

    You are probably fine. Maybe its a dietary problem. Let the doctors do their thing and if they come up blank maybe look at some natural things like improved diet and yoga :)


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