Saturday, May 26, 2012

To Friend or Not To Friend?

I have always told people that you only get out of something what you wish for.  Especially in terms of that little social media "club" - Facebook.  I've had many a conversation with others over their dislike of FB and removal of their profile because they found it bitchy or that too many people came out of the woodwork to snoop in to their lives.  But my answer was and is ALWAYS that Facebook is what you want it to be.  If you want to use it to snoop on other people, it will get you in trouble.  If you wish to use it to keep in touch with people you like and whom you trust, then you will enjoy the ride.  I choose the later....

Every day when I log in to see what is happening in the world, I read countless cryptic status updates.  They amuse me, confuse me or make me curious.  I make a conscious choice NOT to read in to them, basically because I know that when I am being cryptic - on purpose or not - it could apply to so very many circumstances!  And my REAL friends would know that.  It's the not-so-real friends who may choose to apply them in a way that suits them.

I've decided I would like a new rule brought in to MY Facebook.  This is how it would read, if I could be bothered to write it:

Dear friends,  

If you are only here with me on Facebook to scrutinise my every word, and turn it in to something that it is not, please do me - and you - a favour, and click on the "Unfriend" option.  If you wish to stick around as my friend, please do so with an open mind.  Please understand that my life has many facets, and that not all of my status updates relate to one little part of my life or You.  I do not use my FB account to hurt other people's feelings, so please 
do not do the same.


I am not a game player.  Not literally or any other way!  And I'm finding that the older I am getting, the less patience I have for them.  This was confirmed this week after I worked out that someone on my friends list uses their FB for different reasons to I.  It lead me to many conclusions.

1.  If I am worried about writing something that someone may mis-interpret, then we mustn't be very good friends.
2.  If I am questioning my trust in someone, then we mustn't be very good friends.
3.  If I don't think we are very good friends - then you should not be on my friends list.

My "Voice of Reason" - aka Andrew, is also my moral compass.  When I am angry about the way others are behaving and choose to deal with things, he reminds me that I am not them.  That I should not lower myself to their level.  I thank God someone that I have him every single day!

How do you choose your FB friends?  And how do you un-choose them?


  1. I have my personal page that I connect with a few crafters and mainly family but a very small group of IRL friends , I'm happy that way to stay with small . Honestly I really couldn't be bothered getting involved in dramas .

    1. That sounds like a great way to operate Clare!

  2. Well written & I can see someone copy & pasting that & seeing it pop up on status's all over FB, I have unfriended a few ppl just because I dont want to be part of their crap & know just by being 'friends' with them they think you are on their side or of the same opinion.

    1. Ooh, I'd love to see it copied and pasted - how good would that be?! I don't tolerate crap either :)

  3. I agree with you completely!! Again your words of wisdom inspire me! :)

    1. Why thank you MissMichka......that makes me smile to think that A. someone thinks I am wise and B. I have inspired you! x


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