2012 In Review

I'm in the perfect spot right now as I reflect on all that 2012 has dished up. I've just finished my second glass of Sav and eaten copious amounts of Brie, dips and Jatz. And I've just taken myself out to the verandah of our holiday residence here on the northern coast of Tasmania.

So, where do I start? It's past year has given me and my family more financial security than ever.we bought our first home together, which meant we moved. And although the move was physically hard, it was mentally easy and I can honestly say has made for a much healthier family!

My kids have continued to make me proud. I now have an extra man living I the house, as the 14 year old continues to mumble inaudibly and sleeps in (finally!), I look up to him(literally,as he's pipped me I the height stakes) and cannot be more pleased with the person he is growing to be. The other three have com along I leaps and bounds, and although I faced up to the fact that I was not the perfect mother, I know I must've doing something right.

Today, being my 9th wedding anniversary with Andrew is the best day to reaffirm what I knew within weeks of meeting him - he is amazing, and I thank the heavens above for sending me a man who has passion, drive and goals. He also has a huge heart and thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread....who am I to argue?

We've had family members leave us and others fighting to stay on. Battles that are still not won, but will be give a fair crack!

But the biggest thing that has impacted my life this year and has made all of the previously mentioned things magnified, is witnessing grief and loss in its most devastating form. My beautiful friend lost her soul mate and partner/husband of almost 30 years and her pain has been beyond my imagination. Watching someone you care about go through hell can only be described as incredibly sad. I can't tell you how many times I have told her "it's fucked" because there are literally no other appropriate words to describe it. Through it although, she has showed incredible strength and will,to be there for her amazing children. And reaffirms what I have always known about her, that she is awesome.

Her loss has altered my priorities somewhat. I hug my husband tighter and more often, and whenever things seem really shit and hard to deal with - I think of her.  I also see rainbows differently.....

So all in all, 2012 has served up some crap, with a side serving of goodness. I'm hoping to take the side serve and make it a regular in 2013. I'm starting the year with the most positive outlook I think I have ever had, and hope it will hold me in good stead for all that fabulousness that is yet to come!

And with that my friends, I wish you all a wonderful New Years Eve and better still,a healthy and happy 2013! Thank you all for dropping in and I hope to see you all more in themes year!

xxx

Back to THE Suburb

Last night, we ventured back in to our old suburb.  Apart from getting my hair done, it's the first time I have been back.  We were invited to a get together for Christmas drinks, dinner and swimming.  Perfect.  Only it took me quite a few weeks to decide whether we would be going.  You see, when we moved back in July, we not only moved house, but I moved my head space.  I made a conscious decision to give myself time away from a place that had not only been home for eight years, but had also been very difficult for me to live in for the last two years we were there.

I've written quite a few posts about the shit I went through, but nothing really specific.  I don't find much point in re-hashing past events that I'm "over", but for your sake I'll make it short and sweet.  When Chelsea started Kindergarten, I met a group of really great chicks.  I wasn't really keen on making new friends as I (and this sounds ridiculous) already had enough good friends to get me through.  In fact, I'd only met one of my best friends a couple of years before at playgroup.  Anyway, I embraced these new friendships, and before I knew it, there was a group of us that would sit together at school events, get together on weekends, and go out for dinner on occasion.  Just after I had my hysterectomy, my best friend started distancing herself from me.  And over a month or two, was being so strange around me that I constantly found myself asking her whether I had done something wrong?  After many responses from her that all was well, I was left very confused, but was also very aware that she was spending a whole lot more time with one of the other Mums from school, and to be quite honest - I was hurt.

Eventually I ended up emailing her, and really pressing for a reason as to why things had changed between us?  And that's where it all headed down hill.  Things deteriorated quite quickly and before I knew it I was a bit of an outcast at school and was ignored and shunned by the same people I had become pretty close with.  It devastated me.

Facebook showed me in no uncertain terms that the group were still all friends, and that I had been left out of social gatherings, and my now ex-best friend quite cheerfully changed her profile pics and status updates to include others instead of myself.  Whilst a couple of those women still were polite and cheerful to me in person, my trust was damaged and I had no idea what was being made of me behind my back.   I had become consumed by the events, and was not coping - I'm not ashamed to say that I ended up in counselling.

Thankfully I have an amazing husband, whom at the time told me in no uncertain terms that this group of women would all eventually combust, and turn against one another.  True to his word, this exact thing happened, and some of those same women were left feeling exactly how I had felt.

Throughout this whole shitty ordeal, came a few wonderful things.  I met some other amazing Mums at the school.  And some I already knew became closer to me, and helped lift me out of the crappy situation I was in.

So my mental health was of utmost importance when we moved.  I needed to literally get a whole suburb out of my head.  I needed to re-centre my trust and figure out who it was I wanted to keep in touch with.  Five months later, and a cuppa with a friend early this week ended my break up with suburbia, and helped me to realise that I was now over it.

Fast forward to last night, and a lovely evening spent with some of those same Mums, talking over drinks and screaming kids in the swimming pool.  There wasn't much talk about the past, I'd spoken to each of the women there already, and had buried the hatchet.  It takes a big person to apologise for past mistakes and an even bigger person to let it go.  So yep - I'm calling myself a bigger person!

Anyway, this bigger person has had a fabulous day at work and has just popped the kids in to bed.  Andrew is comfortably planted on the lounge with PS3 controls firmly in hand and I'm wondering how we are going to manage hiding a bike in the shed for 24 hours without the kids sniffing it out?  So with my mental health back at it's best - I will now go and plant my own arse on a different lounge and think of some more reminiscing to share with you before this year is over!

Have you ever felt a time or place has sucked the life out of you?  Do you ever want to throw a video game station out a very high window??  

Chevron Love

When I first spotted chevron patterns I fell in love.  I bought yards and yards of rainbow chevron, I have a yard of navy blue and white hidden away, and when I put a bundle of fabric together for Cadyn's quilt, I knew I wanted some chevrons in there too.  I had no plans to make them a "feature" of his quilt, but I guess it just organically went that way!  I finished this baby last Saturday, and have been holding off showing the final results until today, which has been very difficult!  To say I am thrilled with the end result would be a huge understatement.  I don't think I have ever been so satisfied from a project - ever. 

So, here it is, my Chevron Love quilt!

This quilt has given me a new love also - for my walking foot.  For those non-sewers out there, a walking foot would have to be a quilter's best friend?  The fact that I could quilt this together with no trouble at al, no shifting of layers is a sheer miracle!  Sewing will never be the same....

The best part about this quilt?  My eight year old, hard-to-please son LOVES it!  I was trying desperately not to show it to him until Christmas, but Melbourne's weather stepped in and got all Darwin on us.  So I could not sew for a few days and when the temperature finally dropped it was a Saturday, and he was home.  But he kept me enthused with his passing comments in between cricket commentary.....bless.

I also finished a bunch of other goodies this week, and LITERALLY have NOTHING left to sew for 2012!  Oh, except for Chloe's dress that has been on my sewing room floor for about two months......must get on to that.

I'm linking up with Thank Goodness it's Finished Friday!  What have you finished this week?

Chapters of 2012

Just when you think you're drained, something else happens and it starts all over again.  Yesterday was a taxing day, the end to a taxing week.  I thought by the time I had finally gone to sleep last night, I'd shed some good tears, and had a good de-brief with my husband, so today would be the start of another week.  Fail.

This morning brought a phone call.  I had just bought a few plants and was madly trying to plant them before Chloe's dentist appt when it started raining.  So I jumped in the car and saw I had a missed call - from my Dad.  Strange.  I called him straight back and then came the beginning of the next chapter of the tale that is 2012.

Dad has had what they think is a heart attack - on Sunday.  He's been in hospital since then, but thought he'd wait til he found out what was going on before letting me know.  Thoughtful yes?  Anyway, turns out the old man's heart is blocked to within an inch of life and he now requires triple bypass surgery.  I sat in the driver's seat of my car whilst his lady friend filled me in on what had been happening.  There are some if's and but's, because you see, Dad has been a heavy smoker for some 50 odd years.  And he also has a lot of chest congestion, which does not make him the prime candidate for serious kick arse surgery.  So it's a little old waiting game. 

I was very brave, I uttered a few "ah-huh's" and a couple of "okay's", but I really just wanted to cry.  My Dad is sitting in a hospital 1345 kilometres away (yes I did just google that statistic!) waiting for a thumbs up, or down, to surgery.  All three of his children are interstate.  And his lady friend tells me that if he has the surgery, he will need full time care for two weeks afterwards - translated to: Your Dad needs you.

I tried calling my sister.  No luck.  I rang my Mum, who hasn't been married to my Dad for over 25 years, and told her to call my brother.  And then I just got on with it.  I got on with cancelling his flights down here in October, that I only booked last week.  I rang Andrew and filled him in.  I began the mind boggling task of working out how on earth I would be able to drop everything here and relocate to The Gold Coast for a week or so?

My sister called me back.  We came up with a plan.  I cried and gave her a serve for being a smoker.  I cried and told her that my family were all going to die because they make stupid choices and that I will be left all alone.  I went to a funeral exactly one week ago for a beautiful woman who died basically from smoking.  It was very close to home.  I cried and told her I was sick of having unreliable siblings.  And she apologised.  And we laughed.

My brother called back.  He agreed to the plan but won't be an active participant because he can't leave the state at present.  I'll leave that with you to put two and two together.  But he did offer to listen to me when I was balling my eyes out.

I called Dad back.  Relayed our plan to him.  Assured him that if and when he has surgery, I will fly up there, rent an apartment (Nope, I won't be caring for him in his caravan!) and care for him and then my sister will fly up and we'll play tag team so she can take the second half of the job.  I think he was a tad speechless.  But very grateful.

I only re-connected with my Dad about nine years ago, which I sort of wrote about HERE.  I'm just a little bit worried that things may not go well and I will once again, be Father-less.

I'm TRYING to be positive!  And I'm ever so grateful for an amazing bunch of human beings who just happen to be my friends for sending me wonderful little messages of support!  Including this little gem....

I know I'm a lucky girl.  But sometimes, just sometimes, I would like some time to breath between chapters.  Just a little.

How to make a Japanese girl Happy(er).....

This time last week, we were welcoming a delightful young lady in to our home.  Her name is Maiko.  Yep, we put our hands up were suckered in to having another Japanese exchange student!  If you've been following the story here for a while, you may remember the same time last year, when the painfully shy and quiet Yoshiki blessed us with his presence?  No?  Well, HERE and HERE are a couple of quick reminders!  Let's just say those two weeks of 2011 were quite difficult and we really weren't up for another challenge in 2012!  BUT (there's always a bloody but) the lovely Japanese co-ordinator at Lochie's school begged me to help them out due to a shortage of volunteers, so of course I said yes.....much to Andrew's delight horror....

There was one condition - the student HAD to be bubbly AND have a personality!

BINGO

Maiko is the most gorgeous, effervescent (thanks for that word dear friend), compact package of happiness!  So much so, I emailed the above mentioned co-ordinator to let her know how grateful we were to have Maiko enter our lives!  This 16 year old girl, who only has one older brother living away at Uni, has taken the unfinished, half moved in to home; the four younger siblings; the crazy kitten and hissing old bitch of a cat and all the other craziness in this home, in her stride!  She has eaten every single thing put in front of her, helped out with chores, asked questions, answered questions, played with children and animals AND most of all - she has not shied away from getting amongst the family.  I couldn't be happier.

So tonight, I decided to make this gorgeous human being a little happier!  And this is how:

Thank you Woolies!

This is how you marinate the Yakitori Chicken!

Yakitori!

Yakisoba!

Happy family!

Everyone gave chopsticks a crack - except Dad - he knows his limits.  And the meal was a hit!  Maiko was very keen to help me make the Yakitori, and put up with Chloe "helping" her.  And just before dinner was served, she brought out a bag of ingredients and declared she would be making sweets tonight!  I have forewarned the children to be polite, as I saw the look of horror and memories of Yoshiki's "cooking" endeavours of 2011......  But I'm being positive, and bracing myself!  They are all at basketball training presently, so I've snuck a look in the bag - and have NO idea what it will be!  Watch this space......

Have you ever had an exchange student?  Or Japanese sweets?

Holy Mobile Phone Bill from Hell Batman!

I've been rather busy the last few days.  But yesterday went to shit because of an unexpected surprise in the mail.  A mobile phone bill for $488.70!!!  To say I was unimpressed would be an understatement.  I spent the next few hours on the phone, live-chatting and cursing Optus, all the while trying to be polite and not lose my temper.  I also had to ring the teenager of the house and explain that he does not have unlimited YouTube....contrary to his thinking.  The next task is working out how much of the $300 excess data charge I will get him to pay me back for?  In his defence, I don't think he did it on purpose - but it doesn't take away from the fact that we are  now behind the 8-ball....  It also doesn't change the fact that I never thought this would happen.  Was I naive?  Or stupid?  Or both?

So I have taken my photos for the last three days, and have popped in to share....

Day16 - Something New.  I will be trying something new, once I find the perfect Chore Chart!  It was Mr 7 year old's idea....so I'm running with it!  Miss almost 9 is most unimpressed with his suggestion....Oh, and see the lovely
before-mentioned ridiculous phone bill there?

Day17 - Time.  When I read that "time" was the photo for that day, I was sitting right where I am now, with the screensaver on.  Yep - I'm so lucky that I have the Hawthorn Football Club season fixture as my screensaver.  I love AFL football, and am wrapt that it is just starting for 2012 - mostly because it means Cricket is finishing!!

Day 18 - Drink.  This is my drink of choice each and every day.  Pepsi Max.  I only started drinking soft drink about ten years ago.  And I am now probably addicted.  This is the only caffeine I consume, and when I have gone cold turkey - I have paid the price.

Do you use a Chore Chart at home for your kids?  Please share your ideas!

Photo A Day Challenge.....better late than never!

The start of 2012 brought lots of great things.....one of those things I saw lots of, but our holiday and then life got in the way of me joining in from the beginning - so here I am now!  You should by now have seen the Photo A Day Challenge, started by fatmumslim?  If not, head over here.  It's a great way of capturing your day/month/year in images.

Today I have remembered and forgotten numerous times about my challenge for the day.  Probably had something to do with being at work, picking up children, visiting Lincraft and dealing with dinner?  But here is today's photo:

YOUR VIEW TODAY

Not very enthralling to most.  But whilst I sit here and tap away on the keyboard, I am within close proximity to most that is going on in our household.  This little room is not only our office/workspace, it is also the thoroughfare from lounge room through to kitchen.  As I type - the kids are watching tv in the next room, the microwave is beeping at me to let me know something has finished cooking, and I can smell the fish cooking in the oven!  But I can also see all the glorious piles of fabric and crafting goodness awaiting me!  I think I'm pretty lucky.

That's it for now.  I have lots more to tell you, but I fear the fish will not survive.  Ciao for now!