Checking In

I feel like I've haven't posted for AGES.  But, in reality, it's only been a few days.  Go figure.  I think the reason I feel like this, is that I haven't posted "personally" as such for a long time?  Well, here's a catch up on what's been happening in this corner of the world for the past few months.....

My kids are growing up.  Like, seriously growing up, and out, and around.  We've celebrated a couple of birthdays..... Cadyn's cricket cake was a hit, and Chloe had a Rainbow themed party for her 5th birthday - and it was an absolute blast!

My biggest boy had his Confirmation.  Seeing him look so smart in his "proper" trousers, a dress shirt and tie almost killed me!  He's so grown up!

And Ms Chelsea?  Well, she is finding a style all on her own!  At ten years of age, she is able to walk out of the house in some "interesting" fashion choices, and works them like nobody's business!  Although her mood swings and delightful eye-rolling are driving us all insane, she is certainly growing up to be a fabulous individual.

Apart from the kids, I have been kept busy with work and a little bit of play.  I'm over my strange little bout of mystery illness that saw me spend a couple of days sitting in hospital, but still curious to find out what on earth caused it.  My husband has put money on stress......

And yes, I have been stressed.  I've been going through a - up til now- rather private battle.  A battle with the much maligned mental illness.  Not my own, but my sister's.  I've said before that it's not my story to tell, however, this past few months have given me my own story - one of a sibling struggling to keep their head above water, whilst paddling relentlessly, and not getting anywhere fast.

I am almost consumed by the need to help my darling sister and her beautiful little family.  I just want things to be better.  To be calm.  But I'm finding it's a battle that just isn't there for me to win.  It's something that yes, I can help to facilitate, but no - I can't fix it.  And that's hard to swallow.....

But on a brighter note......I thank my husband every. single. day.  Many years ago, he told me I needed a hobby.  My interests at that time were relegated to sitting on the lounge watching Oprah and Dr Phil, whilst wrangling multiple young children and a part time job.  The need for library bags and art smocks, when my Chelsea girl was starting primary school, has literally saved my sanity.  It was the beginning of a hobby that had been in hiding for almost 20 years.  I grew up watching my Mum sew.  Day and night.  It was her day job (she worked for many years in the wardrobe department at Dreamworld!), but it was also (and still is) her beloved hobby.

Library bags and smocks lead to frills and frocks.  The frills and frocks lead to quilts.  And the quilts have now lead me to a place of sheer bliss.  Sewing, and quilting, is my saving grace.  It's the place I go to when I need clarity.  When I need to just sit and chill - and the only worry I have is fabric placement and thread choices.

So thank you dear husband.  For the hobby that you told me I needed.  And the hobby I asked you the other night whether you regretted I had?  Your answer was perfect.....

"If it makes you happy"

***  P.S.  To all of the wonderful people who have left comments on my last few posts - I truly appreciate you taking the time to give me your encouragement and cheer me on in my sewing and quilting efforts! I literally have not had time to sit down and reply to all of you - so please forgive me!  I shall be back to replying asap. xxxx

Hard Questions and Even Harder Answers...

We all harbour questions that we would dearly like to ask someone, or many someone's, but never think we will be able to spill the words.  It's like you're too scared to ask because you don't really want to know the answer?  Or you know what the answer will be, and can't bare to think of what you will do with said answer?  Or is it just me?

I've just spent the weekend up in Queensland.  Had three days of pretending that I didn't have a care in the world - no kids to worry about, no work to get to and no alarms to set, because there was nowhere I had to be!  I stayed in an apartment with two lifelong friends, and we sat and chatted, ate cheese and drank wine.  Had a massage in our lounge room overlooking the surf.  Read a book.  READ A BOOK!!!!!  We also went out two nights in a row, and drank copius amounts of alcohol.  Something I really very rarely do!

I also saw my Dad.  I haven't seen him since he had his heart problems late last year, so it was lovely to see him in the flesh and note that he had put on some weight.  And for the first time in my 37 years, he did not smell of tobacco and nicotine.  A HUGE and noticeable change.  He picked me up from the airport on arrival and drove me up to my friend's parents house.  Back to the same neighbourhood we had lived for many years.  His memory is vague, and I had to remind him of where the house we used to live in was.  We sat and had lunch, and chatted about a range of topics and then said our goodbyes.  When my weekend was coming to an end, I called him again and arranged to meet up to spend the afternoon before I departed.  I was a little anxious and couldn't figure out why?  But only minutes after pulling in to the caravan park he calls home, I worked it out.  I hadn't been to my Dad's place of residence in almost 25 years!  14 of those I didn't even know where he resided, or whether he was in fact, even alive.....

He showed me around his humble little caravan, and pointed out that he'd had a massive clean up since kicking the cigarettes months ago.  It was freshly painted and he'd acquired a few pieces of newish furniture.  It was certainly very "homely".  But to be completely honest - I was sad.  I was sad that the man who had spent the first 12 years of my life being my Dad, providing for me and making a great life for his family, had ended up in a caravan park.  Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against people who live in caravan parks!  I spent a couple of years myself living in one, after my Dad had lost all that we owned through his gambling habit, and my Mum and Step Dad were left to pick up the pieces.  SO I know all about people who live in caravan parks.  BUT - this one little caravan and its contents were all that my Dad has to show for his almost 70 years of life.  And it saddens me.

Anyway, I soon got over that sadness and got a royal tour!  Met all the locals, including his friend "Dot" whom I spoke to on the phone during Dad's stint in hospital.  She was the one who explained that he was very sick and required triple bypass surgery, and all that goes along with what that meant.  Lovely lady, even more lovely that I know she's looking out for my Dad.

I took a Nana Nap on his couch until it was time to leave for the airport again.  We grabbed some dinner in the departure lounge and chatted some more.  I can't remember what we were talking about, but I finally got the courage up to ask one of a million questions I'd been wanting to ask over the years - "Do you ever look back?".........  He did not hesitate in his answering, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me, that I was finally going to be able to hear my Dad apologise for all that happened.  "Oh, of course I look back, I look back and think how bloody stupid I was."  O.M.G.  Perhaps I would finally be having a conversation about the huge white elephant that has been sitting in the room the past ten years??  And then he continued........  "That's why I've never been in another relationship".  My ears pricked,  I could feel a Hallelujah moment coming.  "Because I could never have someone telling me what I can and can't do again"................

Deflation.

I just nodded my head and carried on eating my greasy chicken and chips.  I couldn't make sense of what he said, and really didn't want to.  We bid farewell at the departure gate and I headed back to Melbourne....

So I get home and relay this entire conversation to my husband.  At 11.45pm at night.  And he makes sense of it for me.  My Dad still doesn't acknowledge that his gambling was what ruined our family.  What ruined his marriage.  And why I had nothing to do with him for such a long time.  He is still living in denial.

I say "my family is fucked".  Andrew says "Our family is great".

Perspective.

I find more out about this family of mine the older I am getting.  Sometimes it puts things in place, other times it just gets more muddled.

Do you have any hard questions you haven't been able to ask?

T.G.I.F.F. - A Few (more) Firsts!

Good evening to you all!  Tonight I'm linking up with T.G.I.F.F over at From Blank Pages!

Given we only got back from our holiday last Saturday, I've had a rather productive week.  I wrote myself a list of projects I wanted to get done before I get back in to the "paid to do" sewing.  On the top of that list was my first ever Block for a Quilting Bee!  I only found out what a quilting bee was a few weeks ago, and was thrilled when I was added to one.  The Bee of the month (which is actually for February, not January as I thought) chose THIS BLOCK.  I had a quiet little panic when I first saw it, because I basically thought "how the hell am I going to make that?!?!"  But once I took a few breaths and actually read the instructions, it really sounded straight forward.....

I set about scrounging through my scraps tub, and then re-discovered a few scrap bags, and between them both found a really varied array of amazing fabrics!  I wasn't really sure about the colour matching, but the Bee requested brights for the HST (half square triangles - just learnt that too!)  So I just went with my first choices and thought I would see how it turned out.  Turns out it looks awesome!!!!

Ta-daaaaaaaaa!  Very pleased with myself and the fact that they basically all have points!

The second thing on my list was another thing I had never done before - making dolls..... I wrote a post last week about why I was making them, which you can read HERE.  I enlisted the help of a very excited nine year old, who had been waiting oh so patiently for me to show her how to use her sewing machine.  I gave her free range to my fabric stash and she chose aquas.  I went with pinks.  It took us a few hours, but we got there in the end!

Very proud of herself!

Two little dollies ready for a home!

And the last things I finished this week were two divine outfits for a Jennifer Pagnelli Showcase over at Alex & Grace Designs.  Libby love JP's designs, and chose her fabrics for her Birthday Celebrations!  I have to come clean and say I have never bought JP before, but when I saw this So St. Croix fabric, I fell in love!  So here are my two submissions!  One for the big girls, and one for the little!  They will be available for sale on the 19th of January.

And that's it my friends!  I started a couple of other projects, but will leave that for next week.  I also started with more chicken pox remedies after my two girls starting breaking out yesterday!  Hoorah!  

How long til school starts back??

Not Much of a Muchness

I have been a little quiet here of late.  Not on purpose.  I just really had nothing of interest to add to the blogosphere, nothing that I felt was blog-worthy.  I still really don't, so I'm having one of those random "open up blogger and blurt out whatever is in your head" kind of moments.  Here I am!

Last night our delightful little puppy dog - Hamish - decided he would channel his inner Houdini and escape.  Out in to the darkness, in a neighbourhood he has absolutely no knowledge of whatsoever.  We realised his little trick at approximately 9pm when Lochie went out to feed him. So the following hour was spent driving around the neighbourhood and printing out lame ass posters and sticking them on light posts in our immediate area.  I say lame ass because I literally could not find one single bloody photo of him, so it was a MISSING poster without an actual photo of him!

I went to bed exhausted, because between worrying about the frigging dog, and worrying that Jason would win X-Factor - I had fried my brain and could not function any longer!  Slumber arrived rapidly.  And disappeared approximately three hours later.

The delightful Chloe - aka "Go The F*ck To Sleep" - decided 2am would be an appropriate time to wake up, and continue being awake, until she had not only woken both Andrew and I up, but also her brother.  This fun torture ensued until I was confident she was back in bed, and Cadyn had ceased complaining about having something "killing his eye".  Slumber returned.

6.15am arrived with the sound of three over-enthusiastic and LOUD children downstairs.  I soon ruined their party by stumbling down the stairs with one eye open and questioning why the hell they were all so chipper at such a ridiculous time of the day?

"We've been awake since three o'clock Mum"

*********crickets********

WTF?!???!?!

Yep - it seems when slumber attacked my sleep-deprived body, dear little Chloe returned downstairs and got both Chelsea and Cadyn up, and they eventually gave up trying to get her back to bed - and decided on a few good early hours of television........

After shouting a few expletives, Chelsea crawled back to bed and I left the other two turkeys to continue watching Sponge-Bob.  And got another half hour of shut eye in before my alarm went off.

Upon waking - again - I wondered how the hell I was going to manage three over-tired children, a missing dog, un-washed hair and a 9.5 hour shift at work??  I went in to auto-pilot and sorted children out, left for work on time, watched Chloe in the rear vision mirror as she nodded off to sleep on the way to creche.  Wished the creche staff well upon my departure (yehhhh - good luck!!) and got to work right on 8am!  The following hour was made up of phone calls to all our local vets, RSPCA and the micro-chipping place - because as luck would have it, I of course had not gotten around to updating our details since moving...

As I then pondered my next move, I thought about the multitude of ridiculous fines I would be receiving if the council managed to find Hamish before someone else.  Because really, it would just be common sense to have him neutered, registered and kept in an escape-free backyard yes?  Apparently not.

Anyway - as luck would have it - one of the local vets called me back not long after to tell me a lovely lady had brought him in!  Hoorah!!  Thank f*cking God!!  Bank account exhales.....

It's hard work being exhausted after a night out on the town!

Butter.  Wouldn't.  Melt.

The rest of the day?  Well, it was very un-newsworthy, as it should be.  I spent the drive home with the car windows wide open, handing Chloe chocolate - just to keep her awake!  And all three kids were done and dusted and out like a light by 7pm.

PHEW

Anything exciting going on in your corner of the world?

Chinky Pixie - A quick & easy book week costume!

Like a million other children this month, my kids have celebrated "book week" by wearing costumes to school today, dressed up as their favourite book character.  The kids have known about this event for quite some weeks.  And admittedly - so have I.  Cadyn decided from the day he knew, that he would be going as Specky Magee, basically because he is not a fan of getting dressed up, God forbid he would draw any attention to himself!  So, his costume was easy - his football gear already sitting in his wardrobe.  Chelsea, on the other hand, could not decide whom her favourite character was, because she reads so many bloody books it's almost impossible.  BUT, Sunday afternoon she decided on Chinky the Pixie - from The Magic Wishing Chair book, by Enid Blyton.

Let me paint a picture for you......  It's 2pm Sunday afternoon.  We begin googling images of Chinky.  By 2.15pm I'm admitting defeat, and telling Chelsea she will have to find something else, because there's no way I'm going to have time to sort a bloody pixie outfit!  Come 3pm and I've got some ideas from my sewing group on FB, and I'm in the car on the way to the shops.  Half an hour later I'm home with supplies and making a bloody pixie outfit.  I thought I would share, basically because it had me stumped for a bit until my brain warmed up!  So here it is......A quick and easy book week costume.

MATERIALS USED - 1.5metres Homespun Cotton $9.00; 50cm felt $6.00; Tights on sale $1!  Cotton, pencil, pins, scissors, sewing machine!

1. Grab a good shorts pattern.  The one I use is actually the bottom half of the Bailey Romper pattern, and it is THE easiest shorts pattern EVER.  You can purchase the pattern HERE.  

2. The PDF pattern goes up to a size 5, I have upsized it to a size 7, as shown in this photo, but given that Chelsea is a size 8-9, I upsized it a little bit more!  You can see my post about upsizing HERE.

3. To change your shorts from regular to Pixie style, just draw some jagged lines at the bottom and add a little length if needed.

4. If you have pinking shears (jagged edged scissors) cut your edges as shown above.  This will lessen any fraying.  I made the edges uneven on purpose!

5.  Two pattern pieces required now done.

6.  I was directed to THIS FREE PDF for a pixie/elf hat.  It's super simple!  I used felt for the hat as it has a little more stiffness/body than the homespun cotton.

7.  The PDF is for a toddler size hat, so once again I upsized it a bit more to fit Chelsea's head.

8.  Cut out hat pieces.  Then just a matter of sewing all around the edges, trim the curves and turn right side out.  Then hem the bottom.  

9.  Done!

10.  Shorts all sewn up!

11.  For the top I used another PDF pattern, this time it's the  Whimsy Couture Easy Peasant Top, which you can get HERE.  This takes very little time to whip up!  

12.  Instead of hemming the bottom and sleeves, I got out the pinking shears again and did the same jagged effect.

The End Result!  And yes - I know there's now a red hat - further googling yesterday found that Chinky in fact wears a red hat, so thankfully my good Mother had some red felt and I was sewing that at 9pm last night!  Phew!

One very happy Pixie!

Chelsea was very happy to report this afternoon there were NO other pixies at school today!  

Do your kids have dress ups for Book Week?  Are you a last minute costume gatherer, or far more organised than me??

Whose Bright Idea??

Was it to get another farking cat???!!!!  And who was the farking idiot that agreed to it????  Urghhhhh.......

SOMEBODY began campaigning for a kitten back in April.  This somebody had been suckered in by his then soon to be nine year old daughter and her promises of caring and loving a kitten like no other human being in history had before her.  The same somebody then convinced me that it would be a great idea to get above mentioned daughter a kitten for her birthday.  A series of events occurred that ultimately ended in us getting a kitten for free, which we then surprised said daughter with as an early birthday present.....

I will admit that the cuteness of this little black puff-ball was so huge that it didn't take long for me to fall in love with her.  In fact, I wrote quite positively about our Ms Bella's arrival HERE.  Oh, how times change.....

 Fast forward to today, when I entered good old Pets Paradise for the umpteenth time since Bella's arrival, looking to spend yet another small fortune on crappola.  Today's purchase (thankfully at half price, not so thankfully because poor Pets Paradise is in receivership - whoops) was ANOTHER scratching post (because the same birthday girl decided it would be a good idea to sit on the first $50 scratching post, causing it to snap in half - sigh) in an attempt to divert Bella's attention from the gorgeous new lounges we bought only one month ago.

I also asked the question - "Do you have anything to spray on furniture or fittings to stop cats wrecking shit?"  The young girl said "no".   Oh.  Thanks.  For.  Nothing.  

But wait!  As I was about to walk off, she said they had something called "sticky paws".....ummmmm.  I followed her to the wall display where there was ONE packet of sticky paws left.  I was also followed by another woman who had overheard my request and was interested in finding a solution for her own damaged home.  What I discovered was that cats apparently do not like sticky surfaces!  So this solution is a trumped up version of double sided tape, which you can stick to any surface you do not wish your cat or kitten to demolish!  I snapped up the last packet (and did not look the other woman in the eyes for fear of being glared at) and went and paid for my bargain scratching post and sticky paws.  Sounds so wrong....

"Don't declaw....get sticky paws" - WTF??  Who declaws a cat?  

So this afternoon's quest was to cover my brand new, but already slightly tattered lounge in double sided tape.  During said quest I discovered that not only had the little shit of a cat (hear the love in my words?) attacked the corners of the lounge, she has given the whole side of it a good crack.  Little focker.....

I also sticky paw'd the side of the step that had been nibbled and clawed at.  I'm wondering if I could just cover the whole freaking house in double sided tape so the little turd can't wreck anything else??  Maybe the poor singular pot plant I own?  Yep, she's managed to almost kill that too!

Don't get me wrong.  I am not opposed to pets.  I  AM an animal lover.  But each and every time we get a new pet, I end up doing a lot of sighing, yelling, cursing and quite simply - regretting.

Our menagerie now consists of Bella - the now sticky paw'd kitten.  Ruby - the ten year old cat who it seems has decided will hiss at anything and anyone she pleases.  Tanza - the 11 year old corgi x bichon AND Hamish - the teeny tiny three year old toy poodle, who refused to toilet train and to this day will still cock his leg on anything he can possibly reach if let inside.  So he is now an outdoor dog and what you would call a Rasta Poodle.....just needs some reggae and a joint....

I digress.....  Tonight as I was picking up the cat food that Bella had so delightfully dragged on to the carpet to eat, I yelled out "I hate this fucking cat".......to which Andrew retorted "You hate all cats"....  Ummmm....... Look, I'm trying ok.

How on earth do people have patience to get past the kitten trials and tribulations?  Are all kittens bat-shit crazy, or just Bella?

Menagerie

Three years ago, my darling husband surprised shocked me with an early birthday present!  He came home from work and was all like "Hey honey, I have to give you your present early" and I was all like "No, I don't want it early, I don't like early birthday presents!" and he was like "Tough shit, you have to have it early!"......  So I reluctantly closed my eyes and held out my hands, and nearly fell over when I opened them to find a teeny tiny little puppy dog.  And of course I fell madly in love with him - momentarily.  I was torn.  How can you not fall in love with a puppy dog?  EVERYONE loves puppies yes??  SO I loved this puppy dog (whom I named Hamish), until about 2am when he wouldn't stop frickin howling!!!  And then reality set in.  I had three children who were four years or older.....and an eight month old baby.  And a puppy.  Shit.

It took me a few days, but I had to come clean with the husband.  I was not a happy camper.  Not only was I busily trying to care for four children, I also had to deal with a little puppy.  He said it came with a seven day full money back return policy.  I looked at him strangely and asked how were we going to explain to the kids "Sorry you loved that little dog, but we took him back to the shop"??  Nope, I just made him promise me he would NEVER EVER buy me a pet for my birthday EVER again!

Fast forward to today..................

This is how this evening at our home panned out

Yep - we are now officially classed as a Menagerie!!!

Two weeks ago, Andrew took the kids to a pet shop.  Chelsea begged and pleaded for a kitten.  I said NO F***ING WAY!!!  She has since fed all of our menagerie every single night.  Kind of trying to prove that she could look after another bloody animal.

To say Chelsea was thrilled would be an understatement.  To say she will be getting off easily would also be an understatement.  Within minutes of her exciting surprise, I had read her the "riot act" and told her under no circumstances will I ever be doing anything for this pussy cat's upkeep!  It was all up to her.  She has agreed enthusiastically.  And she was also fine when I joked about how she would be getting no presents on her actual birthday!  

Why oh why?  I'm a bloody pushover!  We I now have a husband, four children, two dogs, a guinea pig, a cat who really isn't a cat and a kitten!  Enough already!!!

Now - if I could only find this little kitten........black kitten + dark spaces under lounges = hard to find.  Glow sticks on the agenda for tomorrow.....

Are you a sucker for punishment?

Done - Finally

Last night, I spoke briefly about Eden, and her journey to Niger on behalf of World Vision Australia.  I promised I would sponsor the child I have spoken of sponsoring for years now.  And then I went to bed.  Today, amongst the running around with the kids, getting washing done and finishing sewing orders - I kept thinking about the child I hadn't sponsored yet.  But I kept getting busy, and forgetting.  So tonight when I read Eden's latest post, I walked over to my husband and said "You know how I keep saying I want to sponsor a child, and I never do?  Well, I really want to sponsor a child - now."  His response?  "Ok."

I came back to the computer and clicked on the link.  And then got flustered.  Should I sponsor the first child that came up the screen?  Should I choose?  Boy or girl?  Which country?  Should I click on the link that said "longest waiting"?  I became a little overwhelmed.  I'm still overwhelmed now.  I decided we would sponsor a girl.  And the first girl who popped up and was the same age as my eldest daughter was it.  So, it is with great pride, and a feeling of "finally", that I introduce the latest addition to our family...

I feel really silly writing this, but just as her photo came up on the screen then, I've started crying.  Told you I was overwhelmed.  I have no words.  I hope that our $43 a month can help Keriya and her community.  I really do.

Thank you Eden.  Thank you.  I've just shown my nine year old Chelsea the photo of Keriya and explained to her what our family will now be doing.  And she just quietly smiled.  I asked her what she was thinking?  "I'm just happy" she replied.  Bless.

Forgiveness.....and other stuff

This post has been swimming around in my head for a week now.  Exactly one week.  For it has been one week since my Dad arrived to stay.  He lives in Queensland, in a caravan park, in a van he oh so proudly owns.  Ask him, he'll tell you about it.

I did not know my Dad for a 15 year gap.  Not long after we (My Mum, Step Dad, Brother and miniature chihuaha - in a powder blue datsun - remember datsuns?) packed up our belongings, leaving our own shit-heap caravan/home behind, and headed to Victoria - we lost touch.  Well, more to the truth.....he kind of disappeared.  The kind of disappearing that happens on purpose?  To avoid paying money.  Nice.

Anywho......it TRULY didn't bother me, most of those 15 years.  In fact, I quite preferred it that way.  It was uncomplicated.  One less person I had to deal with.  It simplified my teenage years, to a degree.

Fast forward to circa 2002.  The phone rings.  Some random is on the other end.  And I have NO IDEA who it is.  Turns out it was my Dad.  Turns out he had a minor stroke and a pretty decent car accident.  Turns out he remembered he had children.

I can't even remember how that conversation went.  Needless to say, it must have gone well - given he's been staying here this week.  What happened after that phone call wasn't overly mind-blowing.  It was quite simple.  I had a choice.  I could hold a grudge against him and never let him in, or I could let it go.  The fact that he pissed away my family's security, all that we owned, and gave in to the gambling demons that haunted him?   We went from being a relatively "normal" suburban family with a very successful business owning Father....... to a Fatherless family who had to gather all of their possessions and live in a caravan for a couple of years.  Fun?  Not.

But I did it.  I forgave him.

Life is short.  

When I picked him up from the airport, over a decade after last seeing him, what I did see was an old man.  With next to nothing.  And he got in the car like nothing had ever happened.  So I went along with it.  And still do.

The strangest part about this story?  That he has been here for most of the seven days he's been in Melbourne, and I can honestly say I have not had a decent conversation with him.  Of course, that's not counting the stories he has told me about his kidney stones, constipation, sore shoulder and the strangers I knew nothing about until he told me!  Each day he has been here has been the same.  I go about my usual routines, and he hovers between watching television and popping outside for cigarettes.  

We are still strangers.

I feel like this should sadden me?  But it doesn't.  It just is what it is.  In essence, I am thankful that I have a Father.  One who has, over the past ten years, taken the time to get on a plane every couple of years to come and watch television at my house.  Taken the time and made an effort to send my children, his grandchildren, birthday cards.  And always calls me a week beforehand to let me know he has sent them something.  He has also taken the time to try to be a part of my life.  Even though I think I haven't really let him in.  I don't think he really knows me.  And probably never will.  

For all his faults, I love him.  And I know he loves me - unconditionally.   He never asks me for anything.  Nor do I ever expect anything of him.  So for now, it's working.  This Father/daughter thing.  It may be unconventional in some eyes, but that's my family.  Unconventionally conventional.

I want to end this with one of my all-time favourite quotes. 

 From one of my all-time favourite quoters - Oprah....

Are you a forgiver?  Or a grudger?

Today's post is brought to You by the letter E

E for Emotion.

Emotion is something I feel a lot of.  All the time.  And today has been a roller coaster of emotions.  

From my beautiful catch up with one of my besties this morning, talking about our kids 

and the issues we face.  TEARS.  

The frustration with Ms Chloe as she relentlessly seeks out food because she is hungry.  GRUMPY.  

The annoyance whilst spending over ONE HOUR to vacuum my house. STUFFED.  

The amusement that people take pot shots at each other on Facebook.  Every day I see this, and still - LAUGHTER.  

And the joy at seeing Ms Chloe following my Dad around like his new best friend.  HOORAY!

There were added bonus emotions thrown in, just to mix it up.  But they're not even worth mentioning.  I don't have time.  I can't be bothered.   I give myself a hard time over all the things I could be doing better.  How I could be a better MUM.  A better WIFE.  A better SISTER and DAUGHTER.  

What I DO know - I'm doing my BEST.  And to the people who matter, that is good enough.  

We women give ourselves a bad rap at times.  

Must stop.....