Raising a Child Takes A Village - Raising a Child with Social Media Involved Takes An Army.

If you've been around these parts for a while, you will know that I am partial to putting on my ranty pants.  I get my knickers in a knot about all kinds of interesting bullshit - but mostly about teenagers and the way things are today.

Enter today's post.

I think I'm doing an OK job as a parent.  I think that my eldest son's Dad and I, together with my husband and his Dad's partner, are banding together in some kind of strange unity to get him through these revolting teenage years.  If someone had of told me ten years ago that we would be working together, I would have laughed hysterically.  But a couple of months ago, when our son decided it was time to "up the ante" and test the proverbial waters, we all joined forces to SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN.

And it's worked.  So far.

What I AM struggling with, is being aware of everyone else's children.  Being aware of what they're up to, the shit they're getting in to.  And their parents being oblivious to it.  Hey, I'm not saying I'm perfect - clearly not.  It took almost six months for us to find out that our son had been feeding us bullshit sandwiches!  But in relation to social media - I'm on it.  I'm on his back - always have been, always will be.  We have explained to him what is and what is not acceptable when on social media applications.  That "liking" photos of scantly clad women with derogatory memes or FB pages called "Straya C*nt" not only offends me at times, it also shows up on all his other friends news feeds - including his grandmothers........ and that is NOT acceptable.  We have explained to him that just because a 15 year old girl has the username "Infinity_whore" (yes, you read that correctly), does not mean that it is OK.  It in fact means that she is not only degrading herself, she is allowing others to think it's OK to use such derogatory terms.  NOT OK.

I could go on.  And on.  And on.  I have so many tales to tell about instances we have had to pull him up and educate him on how we expect him to be using social media.  And how it doesn't matter whether other parents let their children use it - or in a lot of cases - don't give a shit about how their children use it.  What matters is how HE uses it.

I digress.  The reason I chose to write AGAIN about this, today, is because I have found myself in yet another quandary in regards to knowing about a child's behaviour and trying to decide whether or not to let said child's parents know?  I know the parents, from many years ago, but we are not friends as such.  I have stewed on the information for a couple of weeks now, debating how I would divulge the information?  Would I want to know if it were my young teenage daughter?  Would I want to hear it from someone else?  I put it out there late last night to my FB friends, and the resounding answer was YES.

So this morning I have been stewing further, going over several different drafts in my head, and have put it down in a FB message to before-mentioned Mother.  I am still yet to send it.

Earlier this year, I wrote this status on my personal FB page, after reading THIS post on MamaMia:

"Some of you already know this, but to everyone else - I will contact you if I see your kids posting inappropriately on social media, or if they're younger, just letting you know that their settings are public when perhaps you would like them to be private. I'm hoping you'd all do the same! Social media can be used so wonderfully - to engage with people in a wonderful way - it's such a shame that it gets used so shitfully at times. xx"

And a whole lot of friends agreed to do the same.  In the past couple of years, I've messaged, phoned and emailed parents when I've come across something I feel is either inappropriate or potentially dangerous with regard to their children.  It is always received gratefully, and in some instances, the parents have had absolutely no idea what Facebook or Instagram even are.

My best piece of advice?  Become an expert.  An expert on social media.  Learn how to use all forms of it.  And check in on your children.  See what they are "following", "liking" and laughing at.  Because without your direction and knowledge, they are trying to learn for themselves what is right and wrong.  They are learning from other kids, who possibly don't know what they're doing either.  Social media is a whole new world in terms of parenting.  I was trying to work out what to compare it to - but I've come up with nothing.  Nothing compares to the murky waters that social media has presented to us as parents.  And I hate to think that anything ever will.

Are you navigating the murky waters of teenagers and social media?  How's it working for you?

A Social Media Love Affair

I've been sitting on this post for a few days.  Well, figuratively speaking that is!  You see, a few days ago, I posted on Facebook - 

"How does one deactivate a Facebook account please?"

I could almost hear the sniggers from my office!  "Are you leaving FB?"  "Melissa leaving Facebook - hahahahahhahaha".  It did make me laugh!  I replied they should know me well enough to know that would never happen!

I was, in fact, asking the question so I could deactivate my teenager's account.  Now that is a whole other story, that could possibly take up a dozen posts.  So let's just say it was time for a complete social media ban for my big baby boy.

Back to the main story here.  My love of social media.  I now frequent Facebook, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Pinterest, Flickr and of course my blog.  I'm not ashamed to say I LOVE being active in all of these platforms.  In fact, if I hadn't been on them, I can guarantee you I wouldn't be running a small sewing business, I wouldn't be in touch with all of my friends and god forbid - I wouldn't be quilting!

Facebook has allowed me to keep up with every single person I know.  Well apart from a very small minority of friends who have not actually got a Facebook account (gasp!).  I get to see the day to day happenings of my god children, who all live interstate or overseas.  I have been able to have conversations with friends on a regular basis - meaning that I never have to wonder what they've been up to.  I've joined countless FB groups - including sewing and quilting groups, which have been an amazing source of information and guidance.  I've met some fabulous online friends, whom have supported me through umpteen dramas and upheavals in my private life.  And on a different level - I've been able to keep an eye on what my teenager is up to!

I remember when Facebook started.  My BFF in London mentioned it to me and I was like "huh?"  But before long I'd embraced the concept and there was no looking back.  I am unapologetic for the fact I look like I am online 24 hours a day.  Yes, that is what I am assuming all of my friends think I do all day long.  Let's clear that up - I'm not.  My computer happens to be turned on 24 hours a day, however, I do manage to run a family of six, work part time outside of home and work part time at home.  I write this blog, I sew for pleasure and I also do a million other things OTHER than sit on Facebook!

My love for Instagram is growing by the day.  SOOOO much inspiration out there amongst the crafting community, and SOOOO many beautiful photos from all over the world!  Oh, and have I mentioned the giveaways I have miraculously won?  Ahuh!

And don't even get me started on Pinterest.....Seriously, the people who invented it are geniuses!  Want a recipe?  Pinterest.  Want a tutorial?  Pinterest.  Renovating?  Pinterest.  The lists go on, and on, and on.

And last but not least - Flickr.  Another fabulous community of people!  And it makes the sharing of photos here on my blog so. much. easier.

So why am I writing this post?  Well, because after asking that little question the other day, it occurred to me that some people seem a little embarrassed to say how much they love social media.  I know many of my friends don't post on Facebook, but I know they've been there - lurking.  How else would they know that so-and-so has stubbed their toe on the couch and had to spend countless hours in emergency to find it's not broken?  *lol*

I say embrace your social media love!  Don't apologise for updating your status 500 times a day!  If that's what you want to do - do it!  If people are offended by your regular postings - tell them to delete you!

Ok.  That's my little rant for this morning.  I do actually need to get off my ass and go finish some more cushion covers!  Oh, and check Facebook......

Are you a social media nut?  

Another Freakin Cat Post.....

About five weeks ago, it was brought to my attention that our sweet kitten - Bella - had been visiting one of our neighbours and using their ridiculously huge sandpit as a litter box.  Said neighbour came a door knocking to ask if I had a little black cat with a blue tag (council tag)?  Ummm, yes, I said.  He proceeded to tell me that he had trapped her in his back yard and I should come and get her.

WTF?

I walked with this imbecile to his home, about five houses away, all the time asking him incredulously that when he said "trapped her" did he actually trap her?  Yep.  I was greeted at his home by his ever so delightful cranky and mouthy wife, telling me how disgusting it was that my cat was shitting in her kid's sandpit.  I agreed, with a pleasant but confused smile on my face.  As I rounded the corner in to their back yard I was horrified to see our little Bella in a metal trap, freakin out.  My Chelsea (Bella's human mummy) was equally if not more horrified and quickly ran to get her out.  It was a very warm day - we're talking 27 degrees - and Bella had been in this trap for who knows how long, without any water or food.  Cranky pants wifey was talking and I wasn't really listening, as I watched Chelsea take Bella home.  I kept asking cranky and her dickhead husband what exactly it was that they expected me to do?  She's a cat.......

They suggested I needed to keep Bella from entering their property.  Ahuh....right.  I repeated that she was a cat, and perhaps they could look at getting a cover for their sandpit - LIKE MOST PEOPLE WITH COMMON SENSE WOULD DO.  Nope.  Nope, not something they would consider.  So after a few more minutes of banter, and me telling them I would do my best, and perhaps they could think of some natural deterrents to keep cat/s away from their sandpit, I wandered off - bewildered.

I mean, is it me, or is going to the trouble of hiring a trap from the council to willingly trap a beautiful little kitten - who just happens to be registered with the council and is not some random stray - just bizarre?

For the following week, I kept Bella inside the house because I was basically too scared to let her out, for fear they would either trap her again, or do something worse.....

Fast forward to last week.  I was sitting upstairs and saw a council van pull in to the driveway.  Didn't take me long to figure out why they were here.......  Ever so lovely ranger tells me that he has my cat in his van.  It had been trapped by someone in the neighbourhood.  I asked him by who, and when he said he couldn't tell me - I told him.  With some very choice words.  I was not a lady.....

I asked HIM what the f*ck I was expected to do?  Well, his suggestions were nothing short of amusing.  Apparently "people" cut slits in pvc pipes, and put them over their fences so cats can't jump over them. Mmmmmmm, that's fabulous!  Cos I want my home to look like some kind of DYI disaster?  I'm thinking razor wire would be equally as effective?  Give it that "detention centre" shine?

Orrrr, we could build/buy a cat run?  Oh yeh, cos that's why you have a pet cat.  So it can be trapped in a f*cking wire enclosed building.  Sure.

Orrrrrr, we could just keep the cat inside - like - forever.

I very politely sarcastically, with a touch of f*ck you, told the ranger that the use of common sense was lacking in some people's brains, and that the council's  willingness to go along with those lacking common sense made me very cranky.  Collected Bella from the TRAP in his van and gave him a generous wave and smile and sent him on his way.

A few days later, he returned with the official letter of complaint and warning, that if Bella steps paw on their property again, we will incur a fine and Bella would be impounded.  Nice.

Now - the husband and I have had a few interesting conversations about the predicament we have found ourselves in.  He suggested we could go and shovel some of our dog shit on to their front yard, but hey, that wouldn't be very neighbourly would it?  I had a friend on Facebook offer us some chicken shit to share with them, but I thought that was too kind, because at least you can use chicken poop to fertilise your garden?  All I've managed to do is give the a*sehole a good case of staring as I drove past their home this afternoon.  Time will tell.......

In the meantime, I am trying not to lose my proverbial mind over the fact that I now have a kitty-cat trying not to lose HER mind at the fact that she can no longer go out and enjoy the great outdoors.  Long gone are her days of climbing the trees in our front yard, or wrestling with our two puppy dogs in the backyard.  Now her days are spent staring longingly out the windows, meowing incessantly and clawing any or all the furniture she can possibly manage without copping an earful from me.

Not to mention the fact that every time I hear the front or back door open everyone yells "DON'T LET BELLA OUT'!!!!!!!  Followed by the sound of running as the closest person to the door chases after her if she's managed to escape.

Soooooo, friends.  I ask you this - what would you do?  I understand, I really do, that there are cat haters out there.  In fact, I used to be one myself.  Before I was a cat owner, I had to go and buy sandpit covers begrudgingly to keep the neighbourhood cats from deficating in said sandpit.  It's common sense yes?  And even now, as a cat lover liker I have had to throw things at random cats who've come a knocking at our door to pester our own cats.  Once again, common sense?

I'm seriously at a loss.  Help.

***  Cat haters and non-constructive comments will not be appreciated.  Although if they're highly amusing comments I may laugh.

****  We are responsible cat owners who bring their cat inside at night and register her too.

Find Me A Soapbox!!!

I've just been aimlessly wandering around Facebook, you know, checking out what everyone's up to, reading inspirational quotes and looking at cute photos.  And then I see it.  Again. 

The word "retard".

Seriously, what year do we live in?  I could almost understand if we were still in 1485....

But we're not.  It's 2013, and this word has been well and truly outed as a derogatory term used to call people who have disabilities.  The fact that it is still used so widely to put people down, make fun of others AND give shit to people with disabilities makes me really cross.  Yes, I'm cross!

Now, I'm not perfect.  I think we've established that over the years.  However, I am a grown up.  I have grown up to realise that such derogatory terms should not be used.  That with growing up, you learn to use your vocabulary.  Broaden your knowledge and all that.  Apparently this does not happen to everyone?

Maybe I'm a little bit precious about this?  Maybe because I've spent the past 16 years of my life working with people who just happen to be living with intellectual disabilities, I'm a little bit touchy on the subject of derogatory labels?  Maybe.  Or maybe it is just because I'm a human being with empathy.  And common sense.

For God's sake people - start using your brain before you post something on a social media site that could potentially upset or offend your friends.  Think about the fact that you may very well have friends or family who actually have family members living with some type of disability.  And think about how you would feel if you child, sibling or someone you love was being called a "retard".

And yes, I am writing this very hasty and annoyance fuelled blog post because if I didn't, I would be blurting this all out on Facebook, possibly offending others who actually like to call people retards.  How is that right?

Ok.  Stepping down off my soap box.  For now.

Do you have any words or labels that really offend your sensibilities?  Share.

** Disclaimer - I am not saying I don't use labels for people - I use the words Dickhead, Idiot, F*ckwit etc quite often..... But it's generally very warranted!

What Annoys Me

Each morning, I pour myself a bowl of cereal and come upstairs to check emails and the interwebs.  This morning, I read a blog post from Mia Freedman, over at MamaMia.  And I sat here nodding in agreement, and shaking my head at the poor journalistic efforts of some knob called Joe Aston??  To put it in a nutshell, Mia said "My kids can call me Mummy.  Anyone else who uses it is being a dick."  And further "Using the term "mummy" as a patronising prefix to describe the things women read, write or say is becoming increasingly common.  Mummy blogs, Mummy porn, Mummy wars......they're all condescending put-downs and it's time we killed them off."  Perfectly said Mia!

Do you want to know what gets ME annoyed?  I brought it up in a little handmade business group I'm involved with, when someone asked what bugs others in regards to Facebook pages.  

I really don't like the term "Mummy" or "Mumma" when it comes to describing an item for sale, or when referring to one's customers or followers on a Facebook page.  

There.  I've said it.  It has always made me cringe a little, which some people don't understand.  So this is why....

Although I make clothing for children, and now, quilts for children too, I have always been very careful not to label my customers.  As much as I know that the majority of said customers are women and a vast majority of them, Mothers - I also know that I have many customers who are Aunts, Uncles, Dads and Grandparents.  I would never want to A. possibly offend someone who either isn't or can't be a Mum and B. Narrow my market, ie. labelling an adult's garment as a "Mumma Skirt" could turn away possible customers, or referring to your customers in your posts as "Mummas" could potentially kill off sales to women OR men who like your handiwork but are put off because of such terminology.

My point is that regardless of whether you are a WAHM or not, you have a wide audience and possible customer base, including Men.  So by addressing your likers as "Mummas" and only Mummas, you are narrowing your reach.  Yes, I am a mother to four kids, but I am by no definition only a Mother.  I am a woman.  So in my very humble opinion, garments and goods made for women should be labelled as being made for women - not only Mummas.

The lovely ladies in the before mentioned group and I had a great discussion about why such a thing would shit me to tears.  And thankfully it was all taken exactly the way I had intended.  To make people think about the labels and terminology they are using when marketing themselves or their goods to others.

So - what's annoying you?

** Disclaimer - I am in no way, shape or form some kind of marketing genius.  I'm just a woman, who happens to be a mother, who happens to have a somewhat successful little handmade business.

Sign Of The Times?

Do you remember when you were growing up and you'd hear your grandparents say "Back in my day...." or your parents say "when I was a girl....."?  Do you remember rolling your eyes and thinking "yeh, yeh" and wondering what all the fuss was about?  Thinking that all of them were just old fogies who had no idea about what you were going through, about the type of world you were growing up in?  And thinking "when I'm a parent, I'm NEVER going to be like that!"?  Well, I feel like I'm in a never-ending version of that complete paragraph at present!

One word - Teenagers.

I want to know what on earth has happened in the 20 years since I finished being a teenager?  Since when did it become OK to do everything that it wasn't OK to do when I was a teenager?  Have I really been living under a rock BOULDER???  I don't think I'm naive, I don't think I'm a fuddy duddy, in fact I think I'm a pretty COOL MUM.  But if the teenage years get more eventful and more testing the older they get - I could lose my cool.....

At 14 years of age, I had only just relinquished my Barbie dolls, started filling out a bra and was not remotely interested in sex.  Don't get me wrong - I had a pulse, and hormones, so I knew the opposite sex existed - I just wasn't interested nor prepared to get involved in anything more than a kiss.

Fast forward to 2013........where 13 year olds think it's OK to drop the F bomb in front of their friends' Mum.  Where parents think it's ok for the same age girls to roam the streets after 5pm, hang out with boys unsupervised and wear the most ridiculously skimpy clothes known to man.  Morals are thrown out the window (or maybe they're just not taught?), restrictions on phone calls don't exist (can you imagine calling someone at 11pm back in 1988?) and writing on FB that you're on the phone to your "sexy boyfriend".  13.  THIRTEEN.

You may have guessed what I'm dealing with?  I thought the fact I had to go and borrow the "Where do I come from" book last week, for the younger members of the family, was enough sex talk for at least a month, but apparently not.  It seems my world has now become one of repetitive conversations about what is appropriate and/or inappropriate behaviour.  

Remember this little gem of a book?

The expectations I have as a parent are pretty simple - I thought?  But I'm slowly realising that perhaps my expectations are completely out of whack with the time I'm living in?  A certain someone said to me today that he was "glad he doesn't have daughters".  And I replied that I was glad I did, because I will teach my daughters (and my sons!) morals, self-esteem and love.  That my daughters will have a slew of restrictions of what/how they can and cannot wear, do, say and behave.  And that there will be consequences for the choices they make in their lives.  Am I really being THAT unrealistic to think that I can have so much input in to how my children are going to turn out?  Do I have to just give in to the fact that times have changed and expectations appear to be somewhat lowered?

I'm doing my best.  I'm having VERY open and honest conversations on a very regular basis.  I'm ensuring the teenager is informed and protected.  But I feel like I'm going "against the tide" so to speak.

Do you have teenagers?  Do you have expectations?  Discuss!

Another Pox Post

We made it home from holidays.  Usually not a news worthy statement, but it was a bit touch and go there for a while!  If you read my New Year's Day post, you would know that Murphy's Law ascended on us and gave my eight year old son a good, decent, solid case of the chicken pox.  It knocked the poor kid for an absolute six.  What was most unusual about this scenario was that I remained strangely calm and relaxed during it all!  I'm still rather confused as to why I was, but also very impressed with myself....

Once we could get to a pharmacy, the day AFTER the pox arrived, and spent a small fortune stocking up on Pinetarsol (that shit stinks), Sol Site gel (expensive little tube of scar healing gel) and Phenerghan (GOLD), my poor little man just slept off the pox.  He also became a beautiful, darling little child, who actually came to me for a hug and let me look after him.  So, basically the complete opposite to what he would normally allow me to do!  Cadyn is a Daddy's boy..... Well, he was - until Daddy pushed him in to the ocean for some salt water therapy.  I think the other beach going families thought we were attempting some sort of strange baptism.  I went forth and explained to one of the families that we weren't in fact trying to kill him, but that he had chicken pox and we were trying to heal him.

Anyway, a couple of days later, and our cheerful lad returned in all his smart-arse glory.  Straight back to annoying his sisters and non-stop commentating of sporting events.

I called our airline to check what I needed to ensure that we could get on the plane home in a few day's time.  I spoke to Marg from the airlines, and was directed to get a letter from a Doctor to say he was fit for travel.  That's it.  So I made an appointment at the nearest GP, 20 minutes away in Beaconsfield (yep, the Beaconsfield that is unfortunately famous for the mining disaster) and when we presented there the day before travel, a hippy like looking GP wearing boardshorts and a check shirt with a leather necklace wrote me a little medical certificate to say we were A OK to get on a plane and not infect everyone with the pox.....

We spent our last 24 hours in Tassie at the beach and also having lunch at the marina, then headed to the airport.  And this my friends is where my calm, relaxed facade instantly disappeared......

Our family of six lugged all our shit to the start of the line and when called went to the check in desk.  I presented our booking forms and then proceeded to explain our son's predicament and gave her the medical form.  Airline lady looked momentarily perplexed as she looked from the medical form then to Cadyn and back again.  She then got out a small folder and flicked through, clearly not having any idea what to do.  Next step was heading over to another older airline lady and asking her advice.  Young airline lady disappeared and older airline lady headed towards us stating that the medical certificate was not enough and that young airline lady was going to consult their nurse.

WHAT THE F*CK!?!?!?!!?

Right about then was when my cool disappeared and my ranty pants returned.  I managed to rant without expletives, which in itself is a miracle.  I felt Andrew's hand on my shoulder as he tried to calm me down, but I was so frustrated at the thought of doing all I was told to do, and then possibly being stuck in Tassie whilst half our family left....

My cool returned whilst we stood waiting patiently shitty as hell for around ten minutes.  We'd sent the four kids away to sit together in case Andrew had to lose his shit upon airline lady's return.  We also now had a very captive audience of fellow traveller's who were becoming increasingly restless with the wait.  Airline lady appeared with folder in hand and asked to see Cadyn.  So we called him over so he could be inspected in front of everyone, and she asked if his spots were all scabbed over (fuck I hate that word)?  Well, you're looking at him lady??  Then, in all her wisdom, she declared he was able to fly!

HOORAH!

So we got our tribe home, relatively happy and healthy and I'm just biding the time waiting for both girls to present pox like symptoms so that the school holidays can just be that little bit more FUN!

I have a couple of lessons for you in this post - 

1.  Do not think that just because your child is immunised against chicken pox that they won't get it.  And don't think that if they do get it, it will necessarily be a mild case.   A friend asked me why we couldn't just get on the plane without saying anything?

My point made....only a balaclava would have made getting on to the plane easier.....

2.  Don't trust an airline phone operator with a Malaysian accent called Marg.  

3.  DO GO TO TASSIE FOR A HOLIDAY!  You may or may not be aware that they are currently going through a terrible bushfire season.  100's of homes lost and no respite just yet.  This was our second holiday to the Apple Isle, and I can highly recommend it for a great place to visit.  I am planning on running an Underwear Drive to aid those who have lost everything (including their undies), and have contacted Foodbank Tasmania, to be recipients of any donations.  If you would like to contribute to the underwear drive, please email me msmidge1@bigpond.com and I will forward details.  If you can't donate underwear, you can donate to The Red Cross Tasmanian Bushfires 2013 Appeal.  If you can spare a few dollars, they will make sure it goes a long way.

Beautiful Green's Beach, Tasmania.

Amazing Cataract Gorge, Tasmania.

So - how are you getting through these holidays?


****  Edited to say that I will in fact be running the Underwear Drive!

I've got My Ranty Pants on.....Again

So I have my ranty pants on tonight.  Most of my ranting of late is to do with social networking and teenagers.  Basically because I have a teenager and he lives and breaths social networking.  Don't get me wrong - I am quite obviously in to social networking, but the past six months or so have opened my eyes way more than I am comfortable with in regards to the way our teenagers are portraying themselves to the world.

And here are just a couple of examples why.....

I've been banging on to Lochie about being aware of what he is "liking" on FB.  The fact that when I look through my newsfeed I can see that he likes 50 girls status's and/or photos of them leaning forward in to the camera lens with their tongue hanging out the side of their mouths makes me queasy.  Not because he likes that sort of shit - he's a teenage boy with a pulse - but because these girls are putting that crap up there for him and a million other boys and possibly pedophiles to see....

The fact that I can then (if I wanted to) right click on any of said photos and save them to my computer makes me ill.  And I'm a harmless, 37 year old Mother of four.  Who else could save these photos to salivate over???

Then there's the posts he likes from ridiculous FB pages and/or groups.  One of them was beautifully titled "Straya C*nts".  Lovely.  Let's just say I was able to delete this page from his list whilst I still had his password...  I pointed out to my beloved son that not only was I seeing this shit in my newsfeed, so were his grandparents and potentially anyone else who had eyesight.  I am no prude, and have been known to drop the odd "C" bomb, but would not and could not in front of my parents or grandparents.

Last week was the straw that broke the camel's Mummy's sanity!  Now that Instagram is gaining a tight hold on everyone, it seems a young girl whom I'm assuming is probably quite charming, has named herself "Infinity Whore"......and Lochie is "following" her.  There are so many things wrong with this scenario I don't even know where to begin.  The bottom line is this - no 14 year old girl should be naming herself in any way, shape or form a Whore.  Not for amusement, not for popularity and certainly not for anything but degradation.  Unfortunately it took quite a few conversations, raised voices and the reality that he will some day in the near future have two sisters the same age as this girl, to finally get through to him that this was NOT OK.  Oh, and a phone call to his Father threatening not to pay phone bills or give him access to any form of internet and/or phone if he did not use communication tools in a way I find respectable.

  I posted this on his FB page and we spoke about it.  I think I'm on track....

{Source unknown due to random FB post}

To top all of this, last night whilst scrolling through  FB world, I see my darling son has liked a young girl's status about it being nice to know that some people care out there.  For some unknown reason it raised my curiosity, and when I clicked on this girl's page I was horrified.  There were several posts about wanting to kill herself.  About how close she lives to a train line.  And that she had tried to kill herself the previous night.  As I read through it all, I wondered who her parents were?  I wondered who I could contact to let them know their baby was in trouble?  And as I scrolled down this stranger's page, I recognised two other children in her photos.......  They just happen to be a friend's children, and after emailing said friend, I find out this morning that she is the friend's step-daughter.

My friend was very grateful I had emailed her, and during a phone call this morning explained that the young girl had been banned from FB, but had obviously opened up her own account and gone on to block all family members from any access to her page.  What she didn't think about was the ever growing six degrees of separation that FB has helped to create and make public.  Her step-mother now has screen shots of her page so she can somehow deal with the situation at hand.

Now I questioned my actions this morning.  Should I have butted in?  Should I have made contact and let this girl's family know what was going on?  I DID NOT HESITATE.  I would want someone - anyone, to butt in and contact me if God forbid I had no idea.  And as another friend pointed out - I could not live with myself if I hadn't and something happened.

It has also made me wonder how parents are dealing with the 24/7 presence of social media in our children's lives?  Another friend asked me last week how long I thought it would be before Lochie would no longer allow me to be friends with him on FB?  Ummmmmm - how about NEVER?!?!  We have rules in this family - and many relate to his usage of FB.  I believe that having his password for the first couple of years he was on there was the single most smartest thing I could have done.  I picked up so many inappropriate things, but turned them in to lessons for him.  He knows that if he wants to use FB, he needs to follow my wishes of using it respectfully - OR HE WON'T HAVE IT.  As I said to him last week - having his phone, laptop and unlimited access to WiFi is a PRIVILEGE,  NOT A RIGHT.  And I am more than happy to remove his privileges whenever I see fit.....

Sooooo..........how are you dealing with your kids and social media?  Would you alert a parent to a potential issue on their child's page?

Discuss.....